My Why For Running 100 Miles

"A Glimpse of Heaven and a Taste of Hell," this is the motto for the Tahoe Rim Trail Endurance Run. I experienced that and more during my 2017 running of the TRT100 mile endurance run. This was my final attempt at the Tahoe Rim Trail 100 mile run.

What was different this year then in years past you might ask? The difference was my reason for running. My Why, my driving force this year was my daughter Taylor. She is "Why" I was running and "Why" I was focused on completing this run. I wanted to be able to tell both my children not just her that no matter happens you never give up, you get up and you keep going. You never stop, no matter what. You may not succeed the first time, the second time or even the third time, but you never stop trying. The mind is a powerful tool and if you put your mind to a goal, you can accomplish anything. That is what I will tell my children one day when they are old enough to understand, but more importantly this is how I want my daughter to live her life. Never giving up, always trying and reaching her goals no matter what the obstacle may be in front of her.

Why is this so important to me you ask? Well, because my daughter is hard of hearing and has Usher syndrome type 2c. What does that mean you may be thinking? When she was born, she failed her newborn hearing test in the hospital. My wife and I were wrecked with emotions. Oh maybe it is just fluid in the ears the nurses told us, but my wife and I knew it wasn't. We went to more hearing test and finally received the diagnosis, she has hearing loss and the next step was to find out how much hearing loss there was. We went to more testing, one test took 2 hours to complete and that was just one ear, then it took another 2 hours to complete the other ear. After that hearing test we knew, she would need hearing aids. We still at this point didn't know if the hearing loss was progressive or not. This process took about 3 months to complete everything. It was a long three months trying to understand this new world we were in. All the thoughts went through our heads, "How much hearing loss is there? Can she hear us now? What does this all mean? But there was one thing my wife and I both knew and we knew this before we left the hospital, we as a family were going to learn sign language, ASL. We wanted a way for her to communicate with us and us to communicate with her. And so our journey began.

But our journey didn't stop there, we had finally come to terms with the hearing loss, though I think one never really comes to terms, it was a fact, we couldn't do anything about it, but we could learn sign language, we could give her a way to communicate. We had a plan. During all this time we did ask for genetic testing because we wanted to find out what type of hearing loss she had. Was it Connexion 26 or some other form of hearing loss. We received word it wasn't Connexion 26, and that they had narrowed it down, but needed to confirm before they could tell us. The emotions we went through again it was like a roller coaster. We had our minds settled it was Connexion 26, but it wasn't. What was it, could anything else be effected by this? All kinds of questions we had but no answers only worry and fear.

By this point I had returned to work, we were learning sign language as a family. Taylor was going to school one day a week at a deaf and hard of hearing class for newborns. This way we could incorporate more sign language, and any other needs she may have during her newborn years. Then my wife called me in tears, and I knew, we had a hunch that is was Usher Syndrome.

Usher Syndrome is the most common condition that affects both hearing and vision. A syndrome is a disease or disorder that has more than one feature or symptom. The major symptoms of Usher syndrome are hearing loss and an eye disorder called retinitis pigmentosa, or RP, which causes night-blindness and a loss of peripheral vision through the progressive degeneration of the retina. The vision loss worsens over time, and currently there is no cure. Our little girl potential could loss her vision, it would be like looking through a straw and her hearing loss could potentially be progressive, meaning she could loss the rest of hearing over time. This syndrome is so rare only 25,000 people have been diagnosed with it.

I immediately broke down at work, and left right away, I knew I needed to be home with my family. It was a lot to process and we had already processed the hearing loss, but now the vision too. What does her future look like? When will she lose her vision? What does this all mean? So many questions, so many emotions. How does one respond to that news.

As parents we are suppose to protect our children, but right now I felt completely powerless to do anything. This was out of my control and I couldn't stop it. How do I tell her? Do we tell her? Of course we have to tell her, she is going to know, she needs to know, but when? What can we do right now to better prepare her and our family? My wife and I read everything we could get our hands on about Usher syndrome. We are learning sign language, she will learn Braille when that time comes, a service dog, yes that is a possibility. We are going to do everything we can to advocate for her until she can advocate for herself.

The fear of having this diagnosis is real. The fear of what her future holds, what does that look like? The fear in general at times controls me. The fear........We don't know when she will start to lose her vision, we can only look for signs that her vision is starting to go, is she afraid of the dark? Is she bumping into things? How is her peripheral vision and same of hearing. We have hearing test every 3 months to track her hearing. She currently has hearing aids so she can develop spoken language. We are using sign language to help develop communication, we have deaf mentors that are teaching us sign language and deaf culture, she has an amazing deaf and hard of hearing teacher, we are doing everything we can to make sure we don't fall between the cracks in the system. But the fear is real, it is there every day and at times debilitating.

It's the fear of the unknown, but we can't live in fear. Because then, are you living at all? Fear cannot control me, I must control my fear, my emotions are real, I can't ignore them. But what can I do? I can love my daughter and be thankful each and everyday for her. She is amazing, she is strong, and nothing is going to slow down. I can see that in her. She is independent. She will develop 2 languages as well as our son. I can share with her my journey to 100 miles when all I wanted to do was quit and lie down, when I was laying on the side of trail completely spent not knowing how I was going to get up, but I did. I found the strength to get up and put one foot in the front of the other. I found the strength through her, she taught me that. I got up and finished that race. I finished that race, because I was drawing strength from her, I was running this race for her. I needed her to see me crossing the finish before she losses her site. That is why I fought so hard at TRT100. That is why I continued on when there was no possible way I should I have. I was throwing up the final 50 miles, my legs had nothing left in them, but I had my goal my "Why" and it was her my daughter.My daughter gave me the strength I needed to complete that race. When she is a bit older I will share that story with her, and I hope she never forgets her "Why". Never give up, keep moving forward no matter what and always have a "why" in life.

I may not be able to change my daughters diagnosis but I can do everything in my power to give her the necessary tools she needs to be successful in life. Never give up that is what I will tell her.

Tahoe Rim Trail 100 Mile Race Report 2014

"A Glimpse of Heaven...........a Taste of Hell" is the motto for The Tahoe Rim Trails Endurance Runs. I was once again signed up for the 100 mile run. I had some unfinished business that I hoped to complete this go around. Like any race or 100 mile run this run is challenging. I have been coming to Tahoe every July for the past 4 years. Running the 50k twice, the 50 miler once and now attempting the 100 mile for the second time. I was determined this year that things would be different, I trained hard, I focused on my fueling, I had an amazing crew and pacers. All was set, now all I had to do was run.

The night before the race my crew and I reminisced over the past few months of training. We laughed and laughed the night away. Trailmomma has been my running partner for years, but this past year she was with me for just about every long run and boy did we have stories to tell. I think sitting there around the kitchen table and sharing and remembering our runs was one my favorite parts about the trip.

The morning of the race I awoke really early. I couldn't sleep, I had some major anxiety and when the alarm finally went off I bounced out of bed full of energy and ready to start the morning. My wife made me eggs, pancakes, ham, and strawberries. I enjoyed this meal like it was going to be my last. We arrived at the starting line about an hour before the race started and I found us a nice spot on the benches to relax and take in all the excitement. Soon it was time to head to the starting line. I kissed my wife and said " I will see you at diamond." and off I went into the cool morning.

Photo By Trailmomma, what was waiting for me on the kitchen table

Start To Hobart:

Right Before the start

The start to Hobart begins on a fire road. I quickly settled into a nice a pace. Soon the line began as we squeezed our way onto the single track trail. I wasn't in a hurry, I didn't try to pass anyone but there were plenty of runners passing me. I wasn't moving slow, I was moving just as quickly as the runner in front me. It was a comfortable power hike as we were climbing, or I should say snaking our way to the top before a nice descent down to Marlette lake. This year I took it all in. I took the time to look up ahead and also below me as the lights from everyone's flashlights were pretty amazing to see. Plus it kept my mind occupied and focused on the current task at hand, to make my way to Hobart aid station, roughly 6 miles. I arrived into Hobart on schedule and quickly gathered my drop bag and enjoyed a Special K breakfast bar. It was easy to eat as it was soft and tasted really good. I was also fueling with Power Gel as I had stopped using the prepetuam as I was getting sick while I trained with it. 

Hobart To Tunnel Creek:

I was in and out of Hobart rather quickly and started the climb up to peak and a gorgeous view of the lakes. I again settled into my pace and focused on the next 5 miles to Tunnel Creek. I knew that trail was super runnable once I crested the peak and I had a nice downhill section into Tunnel Creek. I also knew not to open up to much as the day was just beginning. I arrived at the downhill section and enjoyed the nice smooth rollers and switch backs to Tunnel Creek. I passed a few runners, but I didn't push the pace.I was running comfortable. I was excited to get to Tunnel Creek as my some of my crew were going to be there, I always enjoy seeing a friendly face or two when I am on this trail. Trailmomma and her friend from Canada Be-Well-Run would be at Tunnel Creek and with each step that brought me closer to Tunnel, the bigger my smile became. I arrived into Tunnel right on schedule, and quickly grabbed my drop bag and supplies, refilled my pack and departed. Trailmomma and Be-Well-Run were both waiting for me and cheering loud. It was awesome to see them. 

Photo by Trailmomma, Leaving Tunnel Creek #1 on my way to Red House Loop

Tunnel Creek to Red House Loop

The next section of trail was a 6 mile loop with a massive descent to the lowest elevation on the course. This descent is a quad buster and bone jarring. I took it conservatively on the descent. Here I saw a lot of the front runners and some of the faster 50k and 50 milers started to pass me as they started an hour after us. It is pretty cool to see and even better on the climb back out to offer and receive words of encouragement. I started the slow climb on the fire road. Running some here and power hiking some there. I hit the red house aid station and quickly did my best at making a ice bandana and cooling myself off as the day was getting warm, a bit warmer then previously reported. I knew this next section would be a grind so I just put my head down and continued on my way. Finally I hit the real climb out and slowly started to make my way back to Tunnel Creek. It was tough and it was hot. I just put my head down and carried on. Soon I could see my crew and Trailmomma comes running down to me and asked "How are you?" a harmless question, I quickly say "Why?" a not so harmless answer. She was a bit concerned because in years past I have run this flat section. I was feeling that climb out. I quickly avoided her question and looked at Be-Well-Run and asked "How did you enjoy the climb into Tunnel Creek?" she said "This isn't about me it's about you, how are you?" Such a great crew!!!!! I of course needed some calories and to recover from the climb so I entered Tunnel Creek and took my time getting situated. 

Photo By: Trailmomma, coming out of the red house loop, still smiling 

Photo By: Trailmomma, getting weighed for the first time, down 1 pound

As I entered Tunnel Creek I immediately was weighed. I was down 1 pound from Friday's weigh in, nothing to be concerned about. After weighing in I went and grabbed my drop bag and ate a special K bar, grabbed my bottle to help cool me down during the next 12 miles and picked up a few more gels. Then I sat down in the chair and emptied out my shoes, they were full of sand and pebbles, plus this gave me a moment to breath. Then I gathered my things and used the restroom and told my crew "At diamond have ensure and gatorade ready, I will see you guys there." and off I went to the cheering of my crew. (I also forgot to cross the timing mat, but my crew saved the day and told them)

Tunnel Creek to Bull Wheel to Diamond Peak:

Now I was on the longest stretch of trail, but I wasn't alone. My friend Tina who was also running the 100 miler was with me. We talked and talked, which made the 3 miles fly by. We arrived at bull wheel grabbed some food and started on the 9 mile stretch. I was carrying my water bottle to help keep my cool, as last year I burned up going through here. This year I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I started to notice my energy levels getting low, so I ate a special K bar and took in a gel. Soon, instead of power hiking I was running again. The fuel was what I needed. I pushed on keeping a nice comfortable pace, power hiking some here and there. Then I made that left turn and knew I had 4 miles to Diamond peak and my crew. On this descent though my stomach I had a stomach cramp and had to walk some of the downhill, which was fine as it saved my legs. I was near Diamond Peak so I changed my focus on what I needed instead of how I was feeling. I wasn't feeling terrible, but I also wasn't feeling good. The descent seemed to never end and all I wanted was for the descent to end. Soon, I could hear cheering and I knew I was close. I popped out of the trail and hit the parking lot and my crew immediately went into action. 

Arriving at Diamond Peak Aid Station

I told my crew I had put together a nice 12 mile section, in fact so much better then the previous years. I was stoked about that. I was focused coming into Diamond Peak. My crew took my pack and cooled me down as I walked to check in. Once I checked in they showed me our spot and I went to the bathroom. I was having a bit of discomfort (put lightly) and I needed to address it. I used the restroom, and it hurt. I was chaffed pretty good in that area and it was bleeding as well. In  my efforts this year to keep cool by squirting myself the water my shorts chaffed me in the groin. It hurt, I was swollen, but I was also determined. After the bathroom, I emptied out the pebbles and sand in my shoes, ate some food, drank some coke and was ready to go. 

Diamond Peak, taking care of the sand and pebbles

Photo By: Be-Well-Run, (I should have tried to keep my shorts dry)

I also soaked myself with the hose. I was overheating and it felt so good to cool down. My crew was fantastic here, they had me in and out in no time. I was excited to see them and also excited that this year I came into Diamond Peak in much better condition then last year. 

Kuni and I

Diamond Peak to Bull Wheel:

I was now on  my way up the 2 mile climb of the ski slope. Kuni walked me out a bit and told me to take my time on this climb. I had plenty of time, in fact, he told me to slow down, that it was ok to walk the downhills. I thanked him and off I went. I had my water bottle to keep me cool and I was fueled up. The first mile of the climb isn't that tough, I hiked it and I would pause in the shade when there was some to recover. Soon Tina caught up to me and we both worked our way up the hill. We would pause in the shade on the steeper section, and soon we were pausing every so many feet. It was brutal, but you know what, I was doing better then last year. As we climbed I looked to our left and noticed a storm cell coming in. I told Tina about it and that I hoped it hit us on our way to Tunnel Creek and not Snow Valley. I could hear the thunder in the distance. We climbed and climbed and eventually made our way to bull wheel. Once at bull wheel, we enjoyed the best tasting water mellon I have had this year (Ok, it has been the only water mellon I have had, but it was delicious.) We took some time here, I ate another special k bar and a gel. That climb took a lot out of me and I knew I needed the calories. 

Bull Wheel to Tunnel Creek:

Tina and I were both on our way to Tunnel Creek. It was 3 miles pretty much downhill to the aid station. I had a nice pace going, but I was also uncomfortable, the chaffing was getting worse, and causing a lot of pain. I sat down and emptied a boulder of a rock out of my shoes and then carried on. By this point Tina was a good distance ahead of me and moving well. I was feeling pretty bad and all I could focus on was the chaffing. I couldn't move past it. It burned. I eventually arrived at Tunnel Creek along with some sprinkles. Here I weighed in again and was down another pound, again nothing to be worried over the volunteer said. After weighing I grabbed my drop bag. I ate a Honey Stinger Waffle, a gel, a quarter of a pay day bar, and drank some coke. I took my time in this aid station. I also put the water bottle in my drop bag, and pondered over grabbing my rain jacket. (I had packed a wind breaker in my Hobart drop bag, my rain jacket in the tunnel creek drop bag, and my crew had a wind breaker at the 50 mile marker) I decided against (a decision that would prove costly in the miles to come). It only sprinkled a bit, so at the time I wasn't to concerned about the weather. 

Tunnel Creek To Hobart:

I left tunnel creek hoping that the calories I had just put in would help me get back on track. I also had plenty of food and gels in my pack to refuel on my way. I knew that this next section would have a lot of power hiking and the only thing was, my legs left empty. I didn't have any power in them. I slowly made my way up each switch back and just kept moving forward. This was not good. What just happened? I couldn't believe how bad I was feeling. I tried to focus on the smaller picture of just getting to Hobart and not how many miles I had left. But it was hard, I cried some on the way to Hobart. I was struggling. I kept thinking that the calories needed some time to digest and that I would start to feel better. I kept moving forward switch back after every switch back, the process was slow and painful. The sun was no longer out and the storm clouds at any moment would open up. I slowly arrived at Hobart and just looked at the volunteers. The color was gone from my face and I eventually asked for some warm soup. I sat down and pondered what to do. I grabbed my drop bag and ate a waffle and a gel. I also grabbed my light wind breaker. I sat back down, looked at the volunteers and asked about the situation on snow valley. She responded "It hasn't been evacuated yet. But it is cold up there." I said thank you and packed my wind breaker. Before I could stand up a tremendous boom sounded and streak of lightening danced in the sky. The volunteer was again looked at me and said "Well, it is evacuating right now with that." I held my breath and could only think, I am getting ready to head that way into the storm. 

Hobart to Snow Valley:

I left Hobart, not fully recharged, but ready non the less. I was hiking my way into the storm and secretly hoping it wouldn't be that bad. I mean I was only going to 9,250 feet. I deep down knew better and quickly increased my power hike. I didn't know what to expect, but with each step forward the thunder slowly grew. It started as small growl and slowly grew the higher I got. Then the lightening came, it was bright and seemed very close. I would count until I heard the thunder and then another crack only this time it scared me and I screamed. It was close, closer the I ever want to be. The thunder and lightening were really close and there wasn't anything I could do. Then it slowly started to rain, I unpacked my wind breaker and put it on. Just in time as I placed my hood on my head, the hail came down in buckets. I was in a hail storm and each pelt of hail hurt. The lightening was till dancing around me and the thunder was loud. Then it poured buckets of rain and the trail slowly vanished to river. I saw some runners running to tree line. I followed and asked what they are doing as I knew if I stopped hypothermia would set in in these conditions. The guy looked at me and said "Do you want to go to the aid station." I said "yes." He said "Ok, let's do this together as if we stay here we will get hypothermic." I said "Ok" and off we went. I were sprinting on the trail with the thunder and rain. It was raining so loud we could hardly here each other when we spoke. We picked up a few other runners and together we made our way to Snow Valley, which I was pretty sure would be empty and not be a safe place to stay. We crested the last small hill and were completely exposed with the lightening dancing where it choose. We rushed into the tent and were greeted by a volunteer who told us they had to evacuate and that it was best to keep moving as stopping now we were at risk for hypothermia. I quickly drank a ensure thanked the volunteer and started down the river trail. 

Snow Valley To Spooner Lake (mile 50):

My feet by now were killing me. They were completely soaked and freezing from run off. I couldn't keep them out of the puddles/river. The chaffing was even worse now and I was cold, I couldn't feel my hands. Each step on a rock my feet screamed at me. They were tender and sore from being soaking wet. I was suffering, but that is all part of a 100 miler. The question was how much and how long could I suffer. I slowly made my way down to the tree line and here it wasn't as cold, but I was still cold. I knew my crew was probably worried about me as I was off schedule. This 7 miles was longest thus far for me. It was pure torture, each step caused bolts of pain to shot through my body. By far the worst was the chaffing as the rain didn't help me. I slowly made my way down. Eventually I arrived at the lake level and soon I saw Kuni, my pacer and friend. I became emotional in seeing him and quickly told him about snow valley how I had gotten caught out in the storm. He looked at very supportive and said "so you experienced yourself a mini Hardrock." You see Kuni had just completed Hardrock the weekend before and had run in far worse weather then I, so yes, you could say it was a mini Hardrock experience for me. He walked me into the 50 mile aid station and my crew went to work. 

My crew and others trying to keep everything dry including themselves. 

Mile 50:

They rushed soup to me and were just thankful that I had some kind of a jacket in. I told them I was cold, the chaffing was out of control and my feet were killing me. My wife told me to sit down so that she could assess the situation and fix my feet. We took my soak off and she said "oh wow, your feet are water logged." They were so water logged, we couldn't repair the 3 blisters I had. I had a blister on the sole of foot and on both pinky toe. Last year I had blisters in between each toe, so this was far better then last year. The bad part was we couldn't dry my feet out, they tried, they put foot warmers on my feet. I also shared my concern in regards to the chaffing. It was really bad, so bad I could hardly run. I looked at my crew and knew I had a tough decision to make. They could see that I was torn with what needed to happen. I wasn't able to run due to the chaffing and  my feet were water logged. I looked at my wife and told her to turn in my chip. I was pulling the plug here. It was a serious blow to me. I came into mile 50 mentally ready tackle 50 more miles, but with the chaffing and water logged feet, physically I couldn't. The chaffing was/is getting worse and with me just sitting there, I was on fire it hurt that bad. I kept apologizing to my crew and pacers as they had invested so much time and energy to support me all day and through out my training. I felt like a failure and a disappointment. They kept reassuring me that it was ok, that ultimately it was my decision and a tough one at that. To this day, I question myself on that call. But ultimately in the end, there was no way I could have gone on. 

My amazing crew: Be-Well-Run, Trailmomma,and Rachel my wife (we are expecting our first baby)

Well I be back........maybe......is there another race this season?........maybe?.............

Thank you to my amazing crew for being there all day and braving the storm. Thank you to my very supportive wife for supporting me through the many long training days, I love you so much. Thank you to my friends and family for believing in me, I may have fallen short, but I am not finished.

American River 50 Mile Race Report 2014

The American River 50 mile endurance run is a local favorite. I enjoy this race for many reasons, but the main reason is that it is local, I can train on the trails, and it is convenient for crew to enjoy. I have been running this race since 2010 and each year brings with it a new adventure and this year wouldn't be any different. Going into this race, I told myself it was a training run as my target race was in July. I was to use this day as time on my feet, to focus on fueling, and not to crack myself.

This year the event started at Brown's Ravine near El Dorado hills and we would run to Folsom and around Lake Natoma before heading back to Auburn. This was a new course which meant new possibilities and I could only wonder what this new course would do to my time.

I knew going into this race that I could a run anywhere between a 9:45 and a 10:15. I have been pretty quiet thus far this season with my training and what races I will be running and what my goal times are. I have been keeping things to myself and focusing on what I know I am capable of running and not allowing any one to influence me or to put doubt into my head. I am staying focused on the bigger picture TRT100.

I arrived at the start with my training partner Trailmomma and my wife Rachel. Rachel would be crewing us this day and I would be picking up my pacer Kuni AKA The Beast at Beals which is mile 24. I had asked Kuni to pace me at TRT100 along with Trailmomma and having him pace me at AR50 would be good before TRT. Trailmomma and I were in wave 1 which started at 6am. We both had lights as it was pretty dark. We lined up and before I knew it we were off for 50 miles of fun. This first mile we were running on pavement, but soon we would hit the fire road and eventually the single track trail which would bring us to Folsom Point where the first aid station would be. Trailmomma was booking it as this was her back yard. I just jumped onto her tail and held on. When we arrived at the levee I said to her "You know you were flying back there? We have 50 miles to go?" She replied calmly and confidently "I know, but this is by back yard and I feel good."

We arrived at Folsom Point on schedule, if not ahead thanks to Trailmomma. We did what we call the clover loop around the parking lot and then we arrived at the aid station. Here I grabbed some PB&J and we left. We weren't there too long. As we were leaving we spot The Beast and he gives us big hugs and we hand off our lights. As I am leaving he looks me in the eyes and says "Take it easy, I will see you at Beals." This stuck with me the rest of my journey.

Now we where on the pavement and we both settled into "our pace" a nice, comfortable pace. We enjoyed the sun rising over the lake and each others company. I could tell Trailmomma was feeling great and mentally in a great spot. I on the other hand was having a few issues, maybe more mental than anything. Did I go out to hard, I am pushing the pace to much. The typically thoughts, ones that can turn a race around. I did my best to bury those thoughts, but once they manifested it was hard to change them. Ohh the doubt has been planted.

The pavement portion was one of my least favorite. Pavement is tough to run on, for me that is. Every step just punishes my body. I can feel it throughout my body. I also knew that it wouldn't be long before we arrived at the second aid station at Willow Creek and not far from that we would hit the trails once again. I focused on my fueling. I was fueling with Perpetum. I started drinking if after mile 5 and had packed 2 small baggies that I was carrying in my pack. Each bottle was roughly 250 calories. I have been fueling with Perpetum for about a year now.

As we neared Willow Creek Trailmomma took off ahead as she needed to use the restroom and as she left she said to me "Wait for me." I arrived at the aid station and took my time, I refilled my bottle with perpetum and enjoyed a PB&J square. I walked out of the aid station and waited. I didn't wait that long for Trailmomma maybe less then a minute and we continued on our way.

We were now making our way to the aquatic center and eventually the bluffs. I always love reaching the bluffs because by this point I am done with the pavement and it is great to use different muscles. As we neared the aquatic center something was off with me. I was very quiet and my eyes were darting here and there. My stomach was gurgling at me and not in the way that says I am hungry. I needed to go, only there wasn't anywhere for me to go. I had to slow my pace as the discomfort was painful. Trailmomma knew something was up and looked at me and asked "Are you ok?" I looked at her and said "No, I have to go." The aquatic center came and went and now we were slowly making our way to the bluffs. We crested the top of the bluffs and for a split second I contemplated ducking behind the cars and going, but soon realized that wasn't a good idea as it was to exposed. We started down and I darted ahead and at the bottom, I darted off onto a side trail and went.

Trailmomma waited for me and we were on our way. I felt better, but not great. My stomach was still upset but at least I had some peep back in my step. We took off toward Main bar. Here I filled my pack, and enjoyed a quarter banana and grabbed a small mojo bar. This next section takes up to the bluffs and some nice single track trail. We kept a comfortable pace, ok maybe I was running a bit slow here. I didn't have much in my tank, though I had been fueling. I knew that I needed to settle down and relax, this was just a low and that it would pass. There was till plenty of race left. Trailmomma and I cruised along and as we hit the bluffs I told her "I have to go again! I think it is the perpetum, I am going to stop drinking it and switch to coke." I knew something had to change. Something that I was doing was causing this issue and I couldn't continue this race doing the same thing, but expecting a different result. I made a choice, right there and then. I was going to stop drinking the perpetum.

Trailmomma took off ahead as I once again had to use the restroom. She told me she would wait for me at the next aid station. I arrived and mentally I was defeated. I knew I couldn't keep going if I was going to be using the restroom every 20 minutes. But I also knew that my system needed to reset and my secret weapon was my wife, Rachel was waiting for me at Beals point along with my pacer The Beast and Dasie. I had to keep going, but all I could think about was how bad I felt. As soon as I arrived at the aid station Trailmomma went to action. She grabbed my bottle and rinsed it out and put coke it in. She had me moving again telling me "Rachel was at Beals. Let's Go."

Trailmomma was feeling like a million bucks and I just kept thinking I am slowing her down. I told her to go ahead, I had to let her go. It was tough watching her run and I did everything I could to muster a slow shuffle, but once again I had to use the bathroom. Ugh this is not good. I had one final hill before the small descent into Beals. I rounded the corner and shuffled under the arch and then transitioned to a walk. I saw Dasie and she walked me to Rachel. The Beast was smiling and said something that made me laugh. My crew went to work getting me ready for the next half. I told them I was drinking coke, they knew I was sick and that I had been dry heaving. Trailmomma gave me some tums. I drank a ensure and then I managed to get a gel down. I slowly ate some banana while Rachel cleaned out my pack and replaced my gels. I looked at The Beast and said, "We should start walking." The three of us started walking. I was ready, but was I ready? I looked at The Beast and told him "I have to use the restroom" and I sprinted for the bathroom. Trailmomma told The Beast, "you guys will catch me ok." I was in the restroom for a bit about 5-7 minutes. After that I felt a lot better, like everything had been reset. I am hoping this is the end of the runs for me today.

The Beast and I hit the levee and slowly ever so slowly my pace starts to quicken. I have a new pair of legs a new energy about me and I want to capitalize on this energy. We hit the single track trail and I am in full gear, I am focused and thinking clearly. I start to pass runners and when I pass them I am light on my feet. I am back and ready to take this day this race back. But first I need to catch Trailmomma.

We hit the fire road at cavitt and we are cruising, The Beast is telling me to hike this and run that, not to hard here, how about you drink some coke, a salt maybe. He is doing everything right and I am listening and following direction. Soon we hit the single track trail and at first I am moving conservatively, but then within a blink of an eye I take off. I accelerated so fast, I don't know what happened, but it feels good. I open up a bit more and we are flying. We are passing runner after runner and I am looking strong. I don't feel like I have 25 miles in my legs but rather I am just beginning my day. I challenge myself to hold this pace, now open it up some more. I do. Then I see the blue shirt and I can't believe my eyes and under my breath I say "No way." Up ahead is Trailmomma. I caught Trailmomma. As I near I shout out "Hey, hey, hey." She looks back stunned, surprised and excited like she can't believe her eyes. She jumps aside and so does the group she is running with and I pass. As I pass she hooks on to us and once again we are together. I caught her just outside the granit bay aid station. Together our pace increases and I hear her ask The Beast "What did you do? And can you do that to me?" We are passing runner after runner. Up ahead I can see Rachel, she had surprised me by being at Granit bay. I fly past and she knows I am back.

At the aid station Dasie is waiting for us. I drink some soup and take in a gel and tell Dasie "Let my wife I know that I love her." I am alive and feeling great. We exit the aid station, the three of us, me in the lead followed by The Beast and then Trailmomma. This next section takes us onto part of the mountain bike course, which I didn't like at all. We were slowed down by conga lines and there wasn't much room to pass on top of having to look out for mountain bikes, it was not fun. When I saw an opening I would take it. I would see another opening and take it. The Beast was my eyes for bikes as I was focused on finding an opening and passing. After about 2.5 miles of this loop we were back on the course I knew. We were all three still together which was a amazing feeling.

On our way to buzzards cove there was a lot of congestion, which really slowed us down. There wasn't anywhere to pass and the line was long. Here I was getting really frustrated as I was feeling strong and wanting to move only I couldn't. I kept looking at my watch, which frustrated me even more because I was losing time. I wanted by, we passed when we could, but I knew we would have to make our move at Buzzards cove. In the meantime The Beast had me on a gel an hour and a salt an hour and he would have me sip the coke from time to time. This fueling was working. I was feeling good.

Buzzard cove was approaching and behind me The Beast says "You going to eat some ice cream?" This aid station is known for the ice cream. I have never had the ice cream. I still had my wits about me and replied "Ohh so this is the real reason you agreed to pace me. For the ice cream." We all chuckled and when we arrived The Beast had some ice cream. We were in and out and finally had some room to play with on the trail and I took advantage of that. We were on our way to horseshoe bar.

I was still feeling great and made up some time, only to run right back into another conga line. Like before there was nothing I could do. I threw my arms up in the air in frustration as we were having to walk. I told myself to calm down, take this as a time to reenergize and refocus. I knew that there would be an opening up ahead where the trail widens and when  I came to section I took off like my tail was on fire. I accelerated so fast I was passing runners on their left, their right letting them know I was there. They were trying to stay dry as this section was a mud pit. I took a chance and plunged through the mud and water. I looked back and saw The Beasts was with me, but I didn't see Trailmomma. Crap.....Crap....Crap....we had lost Trailmomma. I knew she would catch up and I pressed on. But every chance I had I looked back to see if that blue shirt was approaching.

The Beast and I were flying again. We arrived at horseshoe bar and I took in a gel and quickly made my way to water bucket. I was hot and needed to cool down. The Beast followed me and helped cool me off. I screamed and hyperventilated. The Beast had a huge smile on his face and I was smilling as well. The cool water felt great. As The Beast continued to cool me I looked back and shouted "TRAILMOMMA!!! OVER HERE" she had caught up to us. She looked at us perplexed (I can only imagine how that image looked) and said "I fell." I ushered her over to the water bucket and The Beast and I cooled her off and cleaned up her bloody knee. I told her it was 2.2 to rattlesnake and we took off.

2.2 until I see my wife and crew again and then about 10 miles to finish. I can totally do this. I checked my watch and I was within my goal time, but I wasn't going to be able to settle. I would need to continue to push myself, I would have to run on the fine line of cracking if I was going to make my goal time.

The Beast and I were moving well during this section. He was monitoring my fueling and allowed me to dictate the pace. He took the lead for a bit which was great as it allowed me to relax my mind and recharge. I took the lead back and kept focused. We were getting near and as we neared I could feel the aid station energy. I heard some music and then realized that what was playing was a song we played at our wedding and that energized me some more. "It's a beautiful night, I think I want to marry you!!!!! I think I want to marry you!!!!! Yup that played through my head and the memories of our wedding energized me some more. My love was waiting for me, she was supporting me no matter what, I can't wait to see her!

I arrived at Rattlesnake after a gnarly descent and my crew immediately went to work. I was feeling strong and focused. My wife Rachel puts a banana in front me and I just look at it. She looks at me and back at the banana and I take the banana and start to eat it. Yup my super food on this run was bananas. I then make my way to water bucket because I am hot. Dasie has my pack and is refilling it. I get cooled down and Dasie makes me a ice scarf out of my bandana around my neck. I cooled down and ready for the final part. I look at Rachel and say "I love you, and ohh yeah I heard our song." She just chuckled at me. The Beast and I are ready. Trailmomma flies in just as we are leaving. I knew she would be fine as here she was picking up her pacer.

The Beast and I took off, I hear as I am leaving "You own this Pigeon." I power hiked the hill passing some runners and then it is game on. Again we are moving and I am doing the math in my head and know it is possible to achieve if I believe. It is going to be close. The Beast continues to monitor my fueling and salt intake which is great because that is one thing I don't have to think about. All I need to think about is moving forward and catching that next runner. The next aid station is coming and The Beast tells me "You don't need anything, maybe a gel, something light that is all." We are in and out and our way. Only a few more miles. Keep moving, don't slow down. I keep passing runners and I make it a priority that once I pass a runner they can not pass me. It is a fun game to keep my mind occupied and to give me a edge, a reason to push a bit harder each time we pass a runner. Then I see it, the Damn Hill. 3 miles to go.

I am focused, we transition into a power hike and my power hike is strong as we are passing runners. It feels great to be this close to the finish and have life in my legs. Keep pushing, don't slow down. Ok we can run now and run we do. The mental talk in my head was fascinating. Run, run a bit more now power hike. I matched the The Beast power hike and had him pull me a bit. Last Gasp was near. So close keep moving. We hit last Gasp and I again cool down with the water bucket and then we push on. Running here and running there. Passing and hiking now running again. 1 more mile, "push it" I hear The Beast say and push it I do. One final hill and The Beast has me run all of it. He wont let me settle, oh the pain it hurts I am right there on the red line, the pain, but push on I do. We crest the hill and make the right turn the final little hill and then the grass. I hear the crowds, I hear my name so close keep going. Push it!!!!! I see the clock and I am so close I find another gear and cross in 10:15ish. I did it.

Rachel is waiting for me and as soon as I stop moving I immediately start to cramp. My hamstrings, my calves everything is screaming at me, but I don't care. I finished and I finished within my projected goal time. Who would have thought that would have happened with the way my first 24 miles went. I turned things around the last 26 miles. I didn't do it alone though. I had the aid and support of a amazing running partner, Trailmomma. The amazing support and sacrifice of my wife Rachel. The best crew and pacer in town with Dasie and Kuni The Beast. Thank you all for your support and drive and compassion throughout the day. Trailmomma thank you for your help all day, you turned my day around.

I completed the AR50 miler. I learned a lot during this journey. I learned even more about myself.

In the days since AR50, I have recovered well. I didn't get any blisters during this event which is amazing. I was a bit sore, but walking fine on Sunday which was a goal of mine. I took the week off from training one to recover and two because I developed a very bad cold on Tuesday that had me in bed for a few days. In the weeks to come I have a race on April 27, a trail marathon that I will be using as a training run. Then things start to really ramp up in my build toward TRT 100 in July.

Believe and you will Achieve

Way Too Cool 50k Race Report 2014

This past weekend weekend was my first race of 2014, or I should say training run as I knew going into this event I was not focused on a PR (personal record). I was focused on seeing where my fitness was and I didn't want to break myself, I wanted to a run a smart race a hard race, but also a race where the following the day I would be able to run.

Going into race day I was a bit nervous, as my last long run which was suppose to be 26 miles ended up only being 19 miles as I had fallen and was pretty bruised and bloody. That meant my longest run going into Cool was 22 miles. I had a few goals going into this run, my first goal was to run a 5:45 as I figured my fitness was around this time goal. Second goal was to get Trailmomma a PR as we would be running most if not all of this race together.

Now let's fast forward to the race day. It was going to be a beautiful day. Trailmomma and I lined up in the middle of wave 1. I was excited as you could feel the energy coming from the crowd. I was also nervous because I knew with the amount of runners in the race that there were sure to be some conga lines along the single track trail and I told myself to use it my advantage. The one thing I really didn't think about and probably should have was all the mud as it had rained the week prior and it would be pretty muddy out there.

The first 8 miles take us down the haul road before we reached the fire road and our first stream crossing at Knickerbocker creek. I knew from past experiences to go wide left as there is congestion with a lot of runners using the rocks so as not to get their feet wet. I went left and quickly passed runners. I hit the single track and sure enough the conga line had us stopped in our tracks. I was a bit upset as this section of trail was very runnable, but with all the runners I wasn't going anywhere fast. I settled down and just went with the flow. I knew that I didn't want to spend a lot of energy trying to pass as there was a lot of miles left so I relaxed and got comfortable and soon enough the congo line would run for a bit and then come to a screeching halt. Bust soon we hit the fire road which gave plenty of room for others to pass and or be passed. Eventually we arrived back at the Start/Finish and it was here that I exchanged my hand held for a fresh handheld as my wife Rachel was waiting for me. At the aid station I enjoyed 2 bananas and was on my way as the next aid station at Lower Quarry was only 3 miles away.

As Trailmomma and I started the descent my stomach started to knot up. I had to use the bathroom. I love this downhill section, I like to open it up and let the trail take me only I wasn't able to as my stomach was really bothering me. I managed to peel off and as I did I yelled to Trailmomma that I would catch up, she kept going and I made a necessary pit stop in the bushes. After my much needed pit stop I felt so much better. I quickly hit the trail and let it open up. I was probably doing sub 8 on this section. I made it to the HWY 49 crossing and spot Trailmomma at the port-o-potty. I shouted to her that she can catch me on the fire road as it isn't my favorite section. I hit the aid station and filled my hydration pack, grabbed some bananas and some granola bars and was back on the fire road where to my surprise Trailmomma was right by my side. We set a nice and steady pace for ourselves and hiked the large hills and ran everything else.

Our next aid station was Maine Bar which was 5.6 miles away and at mile 16.7. I was fueling with prepetuem in my handheld and relying on the solid food as I really wanted to see how my body would react with solid food as I haven't been enjoying gels. Trailmomma and I plugged away and soon enough the aid station appeared, only it was at mile 15 which now meant we had 6 miles to Auburn Lake Trails (ALT) instead of 5 miles. At this express station I again grabbed some granola bars as those were tasting really good.

I knew that this next section had some climbing and that I needed to stay focused. Trailmomma and I had a nice rhythm going, and my legs during the climbs felt very strong and I could keep a nice strong cadence. We would run and hike run and hike. I was feeling pretty good but slowly I could feel my energy level slowly dropping. I didn't take a gel in and in hindsight I should have. I was trying to wait until the Aid Station. I hit the climb to third gate and plugged away at it, again keeping a nice strong cadence and pushing myself a bit on this climb. It was after this climb that I really wanted that aid station to appear. Only it didn't and I started to get a bit angry. I should have taken in a gel, or something as I knew I needed some fuel. I kept plugging away and eventually we arrived at the aid station.

At ALT aid station, I took in some food as well as refilled my handheld with perpetuem and took in some more food. Trailmomma and I took off and walked a bit so that we could finish what we were eating. I knew that this next section was very runnable and I had been looking forward to to it all day. This section would just take you if you let it and you could really pick off some runners. Only that wasn't the case for me. I tried to increase my pace, but it wouldn't happen. I would like to think I managed a nice steady clip. I just kept plugging away. We were nearing goat hill and that was all that I was focused on. Get to goat hill and from there only 5 more miles. But I was really low on energy and I knew I needed to do something about it. At the initial climb to goat hill I took in a gel. Then I took in another gel. And my energy came back to me.

Trailmomma and I hit goat hill and I was feeling really good. My legs felt strong and I just put my head down and power hiked up the hill. We climbed goat hill in 9 minutes with the conga line. At the top of goat hill I was pumped. I quickly filled up my hand held with what Trailmomma calls "crack"...which is actually coke and looked at her and we took off. I was on top of the world. I hit the descent and shouted to her that this was very runnable. We took off.

We were now on our way to HWY 49 crossing. We were slowly passing runners and picking off runners who had passed us on the section to goat hill. At one point though I started to dry heave, it didn't slow me down I kept right on running. I was probably a bit dehydrated when that happened. Trailmomma was really funny and wanted nothing to do with it. (Note to self for when she paces me at TRT.)

I saw the grandpa tree sign and knew we  had 4 miles to the finish. I also looked at my watch and knew that a 5:45 was out of the question but that Trailmomma could still PR. So I did what any good friend would do, I pushed the pace. I encouraged us to run a bit more of the hills and to power hike quicker. I'm not sure if Trailmomma was cursing at me, but if she was she didn't tell me.

We hit the 49 crossing and I filled my hand held with more coke and took off. I had us running the hill longer then I normally would have. I was focused on Trailmomma's PR. Then I transitioned us to a power hike and kept shouting encouragement to Trailmomma. I think other runners thought it was obnoxious, but who cares. I was energizing myself and had my eye on the goal. My legs were feeling great and really strong on the hikes. We had 1 mile to go and I pushed the pace even more, telling Trailmomma to run up and over this hill and you look good, nice and strong. Now only .5 to go. We hit the home stretch and I told Trailmomma "Let's open up." Trailmomma did. I knew we had more to give so I said "Push a bit more, pass those 2 girls."   and she did, then Trailmomma said "This is good enough", but when I heard that I said "Push some more." and she did. One final hill, and I told her "Up and over, keep going, push it." And we did. Then Trailmomma turned on her fuel jets and sprinted. Luckily I saw the acceleration and matched her foot step for foot step. I pumped the crowed up and the crowd yelled louder.

We crossed the finish together and I threw my arms in the air. We crossed in 6:14:09. A new PR for Trailmomma. I was proud of her, proud of how she pushed. I was pretty happy with my time, considering that my last long run was 19 miles. I ran within my ability. I pushed myself on the climbs and I pushed myself those last 5 miles to see what was left in the tank. Honestly when I finished I felt really good physically. This wasn't my target race, and I kept my eye on the ultimate goal TRT100.

As for how I thought my fueling was, I could have used a few more calories. Obviously that was a given. I did enjoy not having as many gels, but I needed a bit more solid food. That I can work on. I never got sick of the solid food. I took in a lot of salt, about 2 an hour as it was warm. I should have had more water as I was a bit dehydrated at the end. The perpetuem I got sick of. I think it was having the same flavor and consistency. Overall I learned a lot and that was what I was looking for. I ran a smart race. I ran within my fitness which was great and I was able to run a solid recovery run on Sunday.

Now to focus on AR50 as again this will be a training run for me.

Thank you to the volunteers who were out there all day and to my wife who has supported me from the beginning. You believe in me which makes me believe in  myself. Thank you to Trailmomma for all the training runs and for being my running partner. We have laughed, we have cried, but most off all we have fun each time we hit the trail.

Believe and You will Achieve

Tahoe Rim Trail 100 Mile Race Report 2013

It was 4:14 am On Sunday July 21 and I had just completed 67.5 miles of the TRT 100, my second loop of the red house in my first attempt at the 100 mile distance. As I approached the aid station I could see the volunteers patiently waiting for me. I already knew what they were going to say even before I had arrived. As they told me that I had missed the cut, I told them it was OK, I know. It’s Ok, all the while smiling just as I had started.

The cut for Tunnel Creek #5 was 4:05am and I had just missed it by 9 minutes. I slowly made my way into the aid station as the volunteers removed my bib. It hit me as soon as my bib was removed, I was done. I would not be finishing my first 100 miler. I slowly sat down and it all sunk in…..the realization that my journey was done….with a heavy heart I just looked around trying not to make eye contact as I knew if I did the tears would start streaming and I needed to be strong right now, I needed to keep it together…All I could do was reflect on the past 23 hours and 14 minute while I waited seeing other runners coming through and pushing on……….

Start To Hobart:

The time had finally arrived; I was toeing the line of the Tahoe Rim Trail 100 miler. I was feeling calm and confident in my training. I was about to embark on one of my biggest journey’s. In 3…2…1… and we were off. I slowly fell into a nice rhythm, slowly making my way to first climb of what would be many for the day. The single track trail came quickly and I immediately transitioned into my power hike, along with 226 other 100 milers. I knew that I needed to be conservative, because it wasn’t about how fast I completed the first loop, it was about being smart in the first loop, being conservative and consistent, finding my pace and not the pace of the runner in front of me or behind me. This was about me.

The climb to Hobart aid station wasn’t that bad, I was fueling with perpetuem and I was also taking in gels. I needed to stay on top of my nutrition. During the descent I didn’t open it up but I remained calm and collective, very relaxed. As I neared the fire road I just thought, wow I am actually doing this! Hobart aid station arrived, I was 6 miles into the race and I was feeling good, but who wouldn’t be feeling good at 6 miles? I knew that my pace was conservative and I wasn’t pushing it. I quickly grabbed some PB&J and I used the restroom, I was very excited at this and I took a mental note to tell Trailmomma (Pam) about the restroom stop when I saw her at Tunnel Creek aid station in 5 miles.

Hobart To Tunnel Creek:

I was slowly approaching on one of the many beautiful views on the day and I was excited. I was feeling good, my fueling was on point and I was focused. The view when I crested the top and rounded the corner was breath taking. I knew this section of trail and I knew that I would have about a nice 4 mile descent into Tunnel Creek with some very runnable switch backs. I was looking forward to it. I hit the switch backs and just enjoyed them, not hammering the pace but staying focused on my nutrition and staying relaxed. I was nearing Tunnel Creek and I quickly assessed my situation and what I needed from my drop bag. I was 11 miles in.

Tunnel Creek to Red House back to Tunnel Creek:

I arrived at Tunnel Creek and the volunteers grabbed my drop bag, I quickly  grabbed a small zip lock bag of perpetuem and refilled my bottle. I was in and out of this aid station and now making way down to the red house or “The taste of Hell.” This was a 3 mile descent, that could potential destroy my quads and my spirits. I took the descent nice and easy keeping everything under control. As I hit the bottom and started the climb to the red house I took in a gel, and continued to remind myself to keep drinking both my water and my perpetuem. The day was warming up and I could already feel the power of the sun just beating down on me.

As I neared the red house I remained focused on my day and not what others were doing. I power hiked the steep hill and slowly transitioned into a run during the flats. I hit the red house and grabbed some chips and continued on my way. Both of my bottles of perpetuem were doing fine and I had enough water. I power hiked the climb and continued on my way. Again, I could feel the heat of the sun and made a mental note to get wet at the aid station. I was now nearing the steepest climb thus far and just put my head down and kept my arms pumping and legs hiking. It was during this climb I noticed a weakness in my legs and dryness in my mouth, like cotton mouth. I didn’t think anything of it besides I am at elevation, that is the dry air causing the cotton mouth. I was nearing the steepest section of this climb and weakness was slowly traveling up my body, I kept moving forward. When the grade wasn’t too steep, but gradual I took out a MOJO bar and began enjoying some MOJO! Maybe I just needed a little bit of fuel, even though I had been fueling.

I was nearing Tunnel Creek, and I again assessed my situation, mentally I was fine. It was just the sudden onset of weakness in my legs and the cotton mouth, but as I got closer to Tunnel Creek that all became a after thought as there was Trailmomma (Pam) my crew. She quickly started firing questions at me, when did you Pee? How do you feel? What do you need? Are you drinking? I was excited to see her as I had just missed her on my first time through. I told her I had peed at Hobart, and yes it was clear. I was going to get more perpetuem and use the bath room but other than that I am feeling good. She couldn’t come into the aid station with me so I was on my own but that was OK as the volunteers were amazing. I weighed in for the first time and my weight was spot on. I then refilled my bottles, my pack grabbed some jerky another MOJO bar and the volunteers took my bandana and filled it with ice and put it around my neck. I was like a pit stop at nascar, everything happened so quickly. It was here that I also took my shoes off and emptied out the little grains of sand that were in my shoes. Once I was done with that I walked over and used the bathroom and happily reported to Trailmomma that I had gone #1 and #2 and that I am happy about that and plan on taking the next section easy to allow my stomach to digest the calories I had been putting in. Trailmomma thought that was a great idea and quickly took a picture and I was on my way. Oh the things ultra runners talk about with their crew.

Tunnel Creek To Bull Wheel:

I was now on my way to Bull Wheel which was 3 miles from Tunnel Creek and 9 miles to Diamond Peek. This section was exposed and super hot. I was maybe at mile 18 when a huge wave of nausea came upon me. Before I knew what was going on I was vomiting, ugh this is not good. Hmm maybe that is way I felt weakness and cotton mouth not too long ago. Great, not what I needed is all I could think about. After getting sick, I thought it was best to slow my pace down even more. I needed to recover from this as well as try and push the liquids and calories back in me. But I needed to wait to make sure I was done being sick. I kept moving forward and could feel the nausea and unsettling feeling in my stomach. I was hoping this would pass. In time, I slowly and I mean slowly tested my stomach by sipping on some perpetuem. Ok, seems to be staying down…..ugh I can feel it coming back up….stay down….stay down…ok, it stayed down. Or not….I knew at this point I was going to have to trick my system, I needed calories. I took an even smaller sip. This time it stayed down. Ok, good. Big sigh of relief. Maybe that is all and I am good to go. By this point I thought I would take a gel in. Bad idea as this did not sit well with my system. I then thought maybe some solid food would help, but nope not working either. The only thing I could do was keep moving and keep sipping on my water and perpetuem to try and get some calories in me. This was a long 3 three miles. I arrived at Bull Wheel and decided to take my time here. I nibbled on some cashews knowing that they had a ton of energy and the salt tasted good and it stayed down. Good, maybe I am done????

Bull Wheel to Diamond Peak: 

I continued on my way and tried to remain positive, but a little seed was being planted I tried not to water that seed and remain focused on the task at hand which was to get to Diamond Peak. I slowly started running again and was feeling ok, not great, but not nauseas. I enjoyed the views and kept the calories coming in. At this point I knew that I was behind on calories but I also knew I needed to be very careful and not overload and ultimately upset my stomach again. I took calories in when I could and got sick when I couldn’t. It was a vicious cycle. But I was still moving, I was still clear mentally and I was still moving forward. I was running and slowly approaching the downhill. I hit the downhill and let me tell you what happened. I started feeling a lot better, I mean I was feeling so much better I started pounding the liquid calories and let my legs go. It felt so good to be running again, and it was such a huge mental boost to be running again. It was during this section I put my plan together, I needed to spend a little bit of time at Diamond to take in calories, change my socks, ect…but the most important thing to do was get calories in. Because at this point I was playing catch up and would be feeling great and then crash. I hit the pavement and made my way to the resort.

I could see Trailmomma and Rachel (my fiancée) approaching. I immediately told them I haven’t been feeling good and I left some on the trail and that I needed calories in me before I left. I quickly was ushered to the scale to weigh in and surprise surprise I was only down 1 pound. Which was pretty surprising to me, but hey I will take any small victory that I can take right now. I then used the restroom as Rachel tried to refill my pack, but the aid station was out of ice and water. I came out of the bath room and sat down. Daisy and Kuni were there and were a huge help. I took my shoes and socks off and sat there. Someone gave me an ensure (this was a last minute purchase and was in all my drop bags, thank goodness) I slowly drank it and I also ate some blueberries and grapes and I even nibbled on a PB&J sandwich. Wow this is great. I am getting calories in. Kuni jumps in and I tell him that my heel has been hurting. He looks and there is no blister, in fact I don’t have one blister and I am 30 miles in. Kuni dries my feet and changes my socks and I retie my shoes. At this point I am getting ancy and need to go; only I can’t find Rachel. Rachel was filling my pack with our ice and getting water from the hose. Pam filled my bottles one with water for getting me wet as I climbed up Diamond and the other with perpetuem. I also took some fruit with as this tasted very good and I carried/ate half a PB&J sandwich. I was ready to go. Daisy offered me some soda and I said sure, I gave Rachel a kiss and thanked my crew and I was off. Ready to take on this beast.

Diamond Peak back to Bull Wheel:

Such a big improvement from a few miles ago. I started hiking and I was feeling strong and focused. I rounded the first right turn and all of a sudden I was vomiting. Agh all those calories gone…SHIT….As I was getting sick a runner behind me told me she had some Tums and offered them to me. I gladly took them and she told me to take it nice and easy on this climb. I thanked her and we both continued on our way only I was now moving pretty slow. The wave of nausea was back and I was doing all I could to keep everything down. Slowly but surely I was making my way up the beast. Right, left, right left, one, two, three, four, five….I was doing anything to keep my mind occupied and off the fact that I was about to vomit again. I leaned over and dry heaved and kept moving. That is all I could do, keep moving. I have to keep moving. I knew back at Tunnel I had ensure and that was about 250 calories, but I also knew that I was playing catch up and it was going to be vicious roller coaster.

I neared a shade tree and I did what I thought I wouldn’t do, I went to the shade tree and sat down for a minute. It seemed to help my stomach and I took this opportunity to take in some perpetuem. I think I took in half the bottle. I knew I needed the calories. I also took in a salt tab. I sat here for another minute or two and slowly got up and continued hiking. I was getting close only a few more false summits and I would be at the top. I hit the top and ran down the few hundred yards to bull wheel, with a huge smile on face knowing I was a bit closer.

Bull Wheel back to Tunnel Creek:

I was once again back at bull wheel, I knew I was behind on calories and took in some cashews and they tasted great. I also ate some oranges and refilled my water bottle as I had used the water to keep me cool. I was hot, that climb took a lot out of me and I began to question how much longer I could keep this up. I quickly dismissed that thought and put a smile back on my face and thanked the volunteers and made my way to Tunnel Creek.

This section is a nice 3 mile single track completely run able section, only I was having to walk some here and there. I would put together a small section of running and then I would have to walk. I just didn’t have the energy and I feared taking in a gel as the last time I did I didn’t keep it down. I did what I could and I dug deep and shuffled along. I wasn’t about to have a pity party, I was still moving, I was still focused, and I was still able to shuffle/run forward. I knew that once I reached Tunnel I would need calories and it seemed that the only thing that was working was liquids. I made my way down, switch back after switch back and slowly arrived at Tunnel Creek.

Here I weighed in before doing anything else and I was still down one pound I think. I than was ushered to a chair as my drop bag was retrieved by the amazing volunteers at this aid station. It seemed that every time I turned around a volunteer was by side asking what I needed, if I was ok. It was here that Tina H. caught up to me as we were within shouting distance on the trail a few miles back. She knew I was having some stomach issues and offered me some pedialite.  I thanked her and was able to drink it all. I also managed to choke down an ensure. I also refilled my bottles, one with perpetuem and another with coke. I knew that the coke would help, but for how long I was not sure. I knew that the next section was going to challenging as it was a climb back to Hobart with very few down hills.

Tunnel Creek Back To Hobart:

I was 35.3 miles in on my 100 mile journey. I kept telling myself to keep putting calories in no matter what happens. I needed them. I thought that the waves of nausea and vomiting would stop, but it didn’t. I left Tunnel Creek knowing I had no other choice. I had to keep moving, I had put some calories in me and I knew that this low would pass eventually. I ran out of Tunnel Creek with one goal in mind to get to Hobart.

I power hiked a lot during this stretch of trail. At least I could still do that, but the nausea and vomiting where still with me. Tina caught up to me and together we continued on our way. We talked and power hiked and then an incredible thing happened….my energy level increased and I was able to increase my power hike as well as run some sections. I took full advantage of this and shouted out to Tina that we needed to run here, now let’s run to that rock, keep going just a bit farther and together we made up some ground. It is amazing how one second I am feeling like total crap and the next I am as high as a kite. Just like earlier though I knew that a crash was coming and sure enough it happened, but the good news was I was near Hobart. I arrived into the Hobart aid station and the energy from the volunteers was contagious. They grabbed my drop bag, and I enjoyed another ensure, this time not choking it down. I was starting to feel better and I left Hobart knowing I had 3 miles to Snow Valley and an amazing view ahead of me.

Hobart To Snow Valley:

I had about 10 miles until I saw my crew again and that sparked me. I was off, power hiking and pushing it up to Snow Valley. I was actually feeling good and getting use to the nausea and vomiting. It was an interesting cycle, I could feel it coming on in waves so when I felt I backed down a bit and when it passed I would push. I wasn’t done and this wasn’t going to stop me.

The climb to snow valley is challenging but I have had worse climbs today compared to this. I think the hardest part was seeing the signs and knowing I had still about 1.5 miles to go and then 1 mile and then .5 is when the juices really started to run. I arrived at Snow Valley, and refilled my coke bottle, took in some broth which tasted great and also another ensure. I knew once again that I needed the calories and I was hopeful that they would stay down.

Snow Valley to Start/Finish:

From here it was all downhill so to speak. The first mile or so I couldn’t put anything together and it was frustrating. But I knew it would open up and I would be running soon. When it opened up I ran knowing that I had less than 5 miles to go in this first loop. I started to put a plan together for when I saw my crew and what I needed. I knew I needed my feet fixed, I could feel the blisters. I also knew that just like every other stop I needed calories only I wasn’t tolerating solid foods and it was getting challenging taking in perpetuem. But I had no choice I had to get calories in me. The hard part about this section for me is when I hit the bottom, I could see where I needed to be, but I still had at least 1.5 miles to go. I just put my head down and remained focused and calm.

As I rounded the corner and saw the bridge I knew I was close. I saw my crew and though I may have looked unsure I knew that I was going to continue on in hopes that the cooler weather with the night will bring me back.

I saw my crew and they quickly ushered me to the scale in which by some miracle my weight was spot on. Either I wasn’t processing my calories or I am just lucky. I then immediately sat down and told them I needed calories but I didn’t know what I could keep down. Rachel went to work on my blisters, I had blister on the inside of my toes (pretty much each toe) and the back of both heels. Trailmomma (Pam) focused on refilling my pack and bottles and my safety runner Jenn also focused on blister repair. My feet were in bad shape. I changed my shirt as well as cleaned my face off and I took in an ensure and attempted to eat some fruit. My crew was awesome, all I did was sit down and they went into action. Mentally I was fine; I wasn’t loopy or confused I was focused on what I needed to do so that I could get back at it. By now I knew that this second loop was going to even more challenging and that I might be racing the cuts.

In what felt like no time, but in reality was longer then I remember I was ready to go. I hugged and said thank you to Trailmomma as she had to get back home, and I thanked and kissed Rachel telling her I will see her at Diamond Peak. I didn’t know how long it would take but I was determined.

Start/Finish to Hobart:

Jenn and I left the start/finish area and I was in great spirits. I was talking up a storm as the cooler temperatures felt great; I was having a huge runner high. As we started on the single track trail I told Jenn that this is the farthest I have run ever. She was amazed that I was power hiking so strong. I still had legs which was great now all I needed was for my stomach to settle down. At that thought a huge wave of nausea came over me and I dry heaved stopping me in my tracks. Ugh I wasn’t feeling good, but I had to keep moving. Just keep moving is all that was on my mind, well that and the Klondike song somehow managed to get stuck and loop through my brain.

We passed a few runners here and there and not once was I passed which was a huge morale boost for me. The nausea and dry heaves were still present. We hit the descent and I took it nice and easy. Still having legs was great. We arrived at the fire road and this climb took forever. Just when I thought we were near the top surprise we weren’t. It was during this section that my dry heaves became more violent. So violent that tears came to my eyes after each incident. The fire road took a lot of out of me, but we crested the top and arrived at the aid station.

Jenn did a fantastic job keeping my mind occupied and she stayed real positive even when the violent dry heaves hit me. I was concerned, but Jenn wasn’t. At the aid station, I immediately sat down, I was spent I was running on fumes. I took in some broth as well as a bottle of ensure. Only this time it took awhile to get the ensure in me. Every time I took a sip I thought it was going to come back up. I used the restroom before moving on and Jenn and I were off to Tunnel Creek.

Hobart To Tunnel Creek:

I was 56.2 miles in and just doing whatever I could to keep moving forward. I remained focused on getting to the downhill section as I knew I still had legs and I could let the trail take me. The climb up to peak was brutal, it was long and each step forward was tough. I was again running on fumes. I was just hoping that the ensure would kick in soon. We arrived at the peak and I just dropped my bottles and told Jenn I am spent. This is where I wanted to throw the towel in. I was empty. Jenn wouldn’t let me though. She told me to try and take a gel in, let’s see if that works. I listened and managed to choke the gel down. I picked up my bottles and we continued on our way.

We were still moving forward but the demons were in my head and I knew that I couldn’t keep going like this for 40 more miles. It was time to talk about what we as in I was going to do at Tunnel that is if I even reached Tunnel. Not the greatest attitude to have right now, but I was empty, I had been nauseas and vomiting most of the day and I was just physically spent. Jenn of course would not hear of it and talked me into chocking down another gel. Hmm, she may be on to something here. I managed to keep both gels down, a good sign and also a small much needed mental boost.

Soon we arrived at the downhill section. I actually started running/shuffling. Again, I still had legs I was moving really Jenn commented so well in fact she had to put her light on the brightest setting. Amazing what a few gels can do and some positive motivation. I was digging deep, deeper than I have before. I even started to think that I can do this. I am coming back, I am keeping gels down this is a great sign. Then ever so slowly the wheels slowly came off the bus. I was once again empty. I could hear the aid station and that motivated me to keep moving.

We arrived at Tunnel Creek and I sat down. A volunteer grabbed my drop bag and I can’t remember if I was able to get an ensure in me or not. I did manage to eat 2 triangles of quesadilla and I didn’t have to choke them down. Then I hear a volunteer shouting if you are going on you have 5 minutes to depart the aid station. They had a hard cut. Crap!!! I looked at Jenn and asked her if I could complete the red house loop before the cut which was at 4:05? She said wouldn’t it better to try instead of giving up? Wow, those are fighting words. As I am reaching into my drop bag and looking at here I say something to the point of 2 hours to do this loop seems not doable. She looked at me chuckled a bit and said; well it looks like you are ready as I shove some gels into my pack. I stand up and am ready to go.

Tunnel Creek to Red House back to Tunnel Creek:

I had about 2 hours to complete this loop which is challenging especially in the dark. We hit the descent and my quads are yelling but not screaming at me. I kept going, knowing I had to get down. We arrived at the bottom and start the climb to red house. I took in a gel and am power hiking like it is the beginning instead of 61.2 miles in. I am feeling great; hey I just might do this.

We arrived at the red house I refill my bottle with coke and we are off. Only the next climb drains me and I find myself walking the flat section. My legs are getting really stiff, so I take in a salt and keep moving. At this point I have maybe 25 minutes to get back to the aid station. I hit the climb and just power hike my little heart out. I knew it was going to be close. If I made it I would be fighting cuts all day, and Jenn just kept reminding me that it will get better with the sunlight. We kept moving and as I see the aid station I look down and it’s 4:05am, and I still had a bit to go.

As I approached the aid station I could see the volunteers patiently waiting for me. I already knew what they were going to say even before I had arrived. As they told me that I had missed the cut, I told them it was OK, I know. It’s Ok, all the while smiling just as I had started.

The cut for Tunnel Creek #5 was 4:05am and I had just missed it by 9 minutes. I slowly made my way into the aid station as the volunteers removed my bib. It hit me as soon as my bib was removed, I was done. I would not be finishing my first 100 miler. I slowly sat down and it all sunk in…..the realization that my journey was done….with a heavy heart I just looked around trying not to make eye contact as I knew if I did the tears would start streaming and I needed to be strong right now, I needed to keep it together…All I could do was reflect on the past 23 hours and 14 minute while I waited seeing other runners coming through and pushing on……….

As I am writing this I don’t have any doubt that I did what I could even when the elements were fighting against me. It isn’t a journey that ends when I cross finish line but a journey that is only beginning. Every step I took that day was a step into the unknown. The unknown of endless possibilities. It is amazing what the body can do, the body’s ability to rebound. It was a roller coaster of emotions all day, but this I know….I completed my farthest run to date and with that is the victory.

As my good friend told me “Your victory was in the fight you gave, not the outcome.”

Well, I be back you might ask? Yes I will be back; I have redemption on my mind.

I send a great big thank you to my fiancée Rachel, who supported me during training and the race. She always has confidence in me. Thank you for making me pancakes, eggs, and sausage before each long run. Thank you for your patience during training and for your understanding when I would leave and not return many hours later. Thank you for your support during all my races leading up to this.

Thank you to Trailmomma (Pam) who gave up her weekend to support me. Thank you for hiking into Tunnel Creek and for your support and energy all day. I look forward to training with you once again in 2014. 

And thank you to my safety runner Jenn. You were calm, motivating, and pushed me when I thought I had nothing left to give. I enjoyed every minute we spent together.  Thank you to my friends and family who believed in me and supported me. 

My journey is not finished and I will be back.