My Why For Running 100 Miles

"A Glimpse of Heaven and a Taste of Hell," this is the motto for the Tahoe Rim Trail Endurance Run. I experienced that and more during my 2017 running of the TRT100 mile endurance run. This was my final attempt at the Tahoe Rim Trail 100 mile run.

What was different this year then in years past you might ask? The difference was my reason for running. My Why, my driving force this year was my daughter Taylor. She is "Why" I was running and "Why" I was focused on completing this run. I wanted to be able to tell both my children not just her that no matter happens you never give up, you get up and you keep going. You never stop, no matter what. You may not succeed the first time, the second time or even the third time, but you never stop trying. The mind is a powerful tool and if you put your mind to a goal, you can accomplish anything. That is what I will tell my children one day when they are old enough to understand, but more importantly this is how I want my daughter to live her life. Never giving up, always trying and reaching her goals no matter what the obstacle may be in front of her.

Why is this so important to me you ask? Well, because my daughter is hard of hearing and has Usher syndrome type 2c. What does that mean you may be thinking? When she was born, she failed her newborn hearing test in the hospital. My wife and I were wrecked with emotions. Oh maybe it is just fluid in the ears the nurses told us, but my wife and I knew it wasn't. We went to more hearing test and finally received the diagnosis, she has hearing loss and the next step was to find out how much hearing loss there was. We went to more testing, one test took 2 hours to complete and that was just one ear, then it took another 2 hours to complete the other ear. After that hearing test we knew, she would need hearing aids. We still at this point didn't know if the hearing loss was progressive or not. This process took about 3 months to complete everything. It was a long three months trying to understand this new world we were in. All the thoughts went through our heads, "How much hearing loss is there? Can she hear us now? What does this all mean? But there was one thing my wife and I both knew and we knew this before we left the hospital, we as a family were going to learn sign language, ASL. We wanted a way for her to communicate with us and us to communicate with her. And so our journey began.

But our journey didn't stop there, we had finally come to terms with the hearing loss, though I think one never really comes to terms, it was a fact, we couldn't do anything about it, but we could learn sign language, we could give her a way to communicate. We had a plan. During all this time we did ask for genetic testing because we wanted to find out what type of hearing loss she had. Was it Connexion 26 or some other form of hearing loss. We received word it wasn't Connexion 26, and that they had narrowed it down, but needed to confirm before they could tell us. The emotions we went through again it was like a roller coaster. We had our minds settled it was Connexion 26, but it wasn't. What was it, could anything else be effected by this? All kinds of questions we had but no answers only worry and fear.

By this point I had returned to work, we were learning sign language as a family. Taylor was going to school one day a week at a deaf and hard of hearing class for newborns. This way we could incorporate more sign language, and any other needs she may have during her newborn years. Then my wife called me in tears, and I knew, we had a hunch that is was Usher Syndrome.

Usher Syndrome is the most common condition that affects both hearing and vision. A syndrome is a disease or disorder that has more than one feature or symptom. The major symptoms of Usher syndrome are hearing loss and an eye disorder called retinitis pigmentosa, or RP, which causes night-blindness and a loss of peripheral vision through the progressive degeneration of the retina. The vision loss worsens over time, and currently there is no cure. Our little girl potential could loss her vision, it would be like looking through a straw and her hearing loss could potentially be progressive, meaning she could loss the rest of hearing over time. This syndrome is so rare only 25,000 people have been diagnosed with it.

I immediately broke down at work, and left right away, I knew I needed to be home with my family. It was a lot to process and we had already processed the hearing loss, but now the vision too. What does her future look like? When will she lose her vision? What does this all mean? So many questions, so many emotions. How does one respond to that news.

As parents we are suppose to protect our children, but right now I felt completely powerless to do anything. This was out of my control and I couldn't stop it. How do I tell her? Do we tell her? Of course we have to tell her, she is going to know, she needs to know, but when? What can we do right now to better prepare her and our family? My wife and I read everything we could get our hands on about Usher syndrome. We are learning sign language, she will learn Braille when that time comes, a service dog, yes that is a possibility. We are going to do everything we can to advocate for her until she can advocate for herself.

The fear of having this diagnosis is real. The fear of what her future holds, what does that look like? The fear in general at times controls me. The fear........We don't know when she will start to lose her vision, we can only look for signs that her vision is starting to go, is she afraid of the dark? Is she bumping into things? How is her peripheral vision and same of hearing. We have hearing test every 3 months to track her hearing. She currently has hearing aids so she can develop spoken language. We are using sign language to help develop communication, we have deaf mentors that are teaching us sign language and deaf culture, she has an amazing deaf and hard of hearing teacher, we are doing everything we can to make sure we don't fall between the cracks in the system. But the fear is real, it is there every day and at times debilitating.

It's the fear of the unknown, but we can't live in fear. Because then, are you living at all? Fear cannot control me, I must control my fear, my emotions are real, I can't ignore them. But what can I do? I can love my daughter and be thankful each and everyday for her. She is amazing, she is strong, and nothing is going to slow down. I can see that in her. She is independent. She will develop 2 languages as well as our son. I can share with her my journey to 100 miles when all I wanted to do was quit and lie down, when I was laying on the side of trail completely spent not knowing how I was going to get up, but I did. I found the strength to get up and put one foot in the front of the other. I found the strength through her, she taught me that. I got up and finished that race. I finished that race, because I was drawing strength from her, I was running this race for her. I needed her to see me crossing the finish before she losses her site. That is why I fought so hard at TRT100. That is why I continued on when there was no possible way I should I have. I was throwing up the final 50 miles, my legs had nothing left in them, but I had my goal my "Why" and it was her my daughter.My daughter gave me the strength I needed to complete that race. When she is a bit older I will share that story with her, and I hope she never forgets her "Why". Never give up, keep moving forward no matter what and always have a "why" in life.

I may not be able to change my daughters diagnosis but I can do everything in my power to give her the necessary tools she needs to be successful in life. Never give up that is what I will tell her.

Salmon Falls 50K Race Report 2015

This past Saturday was the first race for me in 2015. The Salmon Falls 50k, put on by race director Anthony Brantley. The start of the race was at Magnolia parking area. From there we climb to enjoy some beautiful views of Cronan Ranch as we make our way to the South Fork of The American River. From there we climb and make our descent on Red Dragon which offers views of Salmon Falls. From here we make our way onto the Sweet Water Trail system which is a single rolling track as we continue on to the Browns Ravine Marina and finally our destination at Folsom Point. A beautiful course with a rich history.

 I had some personal goals going into this race, but ultimately my long term goal was to not be destroyed at the end so that I could resume my training. This was a training run for me, but a training run where I wanted to push a bit if I could and see how the body responded. Going into Saturday, I wasn't nervous. It was just another run for me. I didn't sleep that much the night prior as having a newborn in the house doesn't allow for sleep.

Race Day

Race day here. I met up with Trailmomma and our friend drove us to the starting line. Once at the starting line, we had no clue what the weather was going to do. All week I had been watching the weather reports, one day it called for rain, another day thunder showers, and another possible showers. I didn't really know what to wear, so I brought a few extra layers just in case the skies opened up, but didn't need them as it felt like it would be warm day.

At the starting line at Magnolia parking lot I could feel the energy. There were about 180 or so racers. Anthony gave us a pre race briefing, basically saying if you get lost it is your own fault as the course is well marked. And just like that we were off and running. I was warned by many people to take it easy during the first half of the course. If not I could pay for it during the second half. I kept that in mind as I tried to find a good position on the fire road. Soon we hit the creek crossing and started our first climb of the day. I ran some and hiked most of it keeping a steady leg turn over. Trailmomma was right in front of me and looking strong. She had been training hard for this race and I could tell during our long runs how much power she had developed and many runners told me "She is like a billy goat going up that hill." I heard this a lot during the race from other races.

Of course what goes up must go down, we hit the first descent and many runners opened it up. I resisted the urge to fly down knowing we had a long ways to go. It was too early in the day to destroy the legs so I let others fly past me. It was here that I paused for a second and looked around at the beauty of this course and area. It was amazing how lush and green everything was. Soon I was at the base of the hill and slowly starting to climb again. This would be a constant theme throughout the race, up and down up and down. Again Trailmomma took off like a billy goat. I couldn't keep up with her. As we neared the top and started the long descent to our first aid station Trailmomma said that she needed to use the restroom. I told her to run ahead and I will meet her at the aid station. She took off. She was gone. All I saw was a small speck in the distance. I made my way to the aid station and once there noticed just how far the restroom was and looked down the trail to see Traillmomma high tailing it back to the aid station. She explained to me that it was just too far and she would wait.

I chuckled and we were off to the longest climb of the day Pedro Hill. I have climbed Pedro Hill, and it is a nice steady climb, I also took in some calories as I had only garbed a handful of chips at the aid station. My legs never felt loaded and I kept a steady turnover, even running some of the hill with Trailmomma. From here I pretty much have run the course and knew what to expect in the coming miles. I hit the top of Pedro Hill and Trailmomma and I started the descent. Here I backed off a bit and Trailmomma gained a nice lead on me. I knew that she wanted to push herself, so when she pushed here I let her go. I wasn't ready to push the pace.

Soon enough Trailmomma and I reconnected, I could tell she was focused. She wasn't talking much and I was OK with that. We would chit chat a bit here and there but overall not much. I was feeling pretty good and as we neared aid station #2, I heard "Their is the new momma." Hearing that brought a huge  smile to my face. All day long I heard how cute my son was, which just brightened my day and made me smile ear to ear. I thanked Paul with a hug and enjoyed some more chips as Trailmomma and I made our way to aid station #3, where I knew my son and wife would be waiting. That was my driving force, that was my motivation all day.

During this stretch, Trailmomma really opened it up and started to push hard. I couldn't keep up with her. I power hiked as hard as I could but she kept gaining ground on me. She had really perfected her power hike and all her hard work in training was paying off. I settled back and focused. I focused on keeping a nice and steady pace, power hiking when I thought best and running where needed. Here I started to feel a bit off and decided I should take in a few calories. I continued on power hiking and running through the ups and downs and smooth rolling single track, and soon I had arrived at Red Dragon.

Red Dragon is gnarly descent. It twist and turns just as a dragon does. It has super sharp turns and feels like it goes on forever. On the descent I had the urge to use the bathroom, only there wasn't anywhere to step off of the trail. I would have to wait until I reached Salmon Falls aid station. The descent was hard on me and my stomach. I slowly made my way down and kept thinking "Oh I hope I make it." It was going to be close. Soon I reached the bottom and crossed the bridge and saw Trailmomm's family who cheered me on and I made my way to the aid station.

As I popped out of the single track trail and into the parking lot I quickly made my way to the restroom. I had to go and go I did. I felt so much better after that pit stop. A weight had been lifted per say. Once this duty was completed I made my way to my family who was waiting for me with a big orange sign and of course my banana. My wife and son were there and I had arrived right on time. I took a quick photo with my son, kissed my wife and Trailmomma and I were on our way.

13 miles completed and I was feeling pretty good. We crossed the bridge and made our way up the road chit chatting and enjoying the day together. As we hit the single track of the Sweet Water Trail System Trailmomma took off and I couldn't keep up. I was feeling a bit low on energy and my legs weren't responding. I knew I had to take care of myself so I took in a gel. Not long, I started to feel a bit better. This single track trail is super runnable and I was frustrated at myself for messing up my fueling. But once my fuel kicked in and I started to make up some ground.

Long day crewing for Mom!

I was nearing the river/stream crossing and I could see Trailmomma just across the way. She was at least 7-10 minutes up on me. I followed the billion course markers to the stream/river crossing and once across I heard "Pigeon!!!" I looked back and was surprised to see Trailmomma. I shouted to her "Did you get lost???" her face told the story. She looked like a deer in headlights and she explained to me that she was following the runner in front of her and missed the crossing. She settled in behind me and I lead us up the hill. I asked if she wanted by but she said "I just need some time to recover is all." We plugged along and soon enough Trailmomma took the lead and was off once again. We made our way into the aid station and had another surprise, Captain Kirk and Wonder Woman with their little boy were there cheering on the runners. They told us we looked strong and I thanked them. I then focused my attention on fuel, as I needed some. I guzzled down some Pepsi, grabbed 2 girl scout cookies and a handful of peanut butter pretzels and took off after Trailmomma who had already started the climb.

While climbing I finished my snack and could feel the Pepsi kicking in and quickly caught up to Trailmomma. I was feeling better then when I arrived at the aid station as I do believe by now I was behind on my calories. A mistake I know. Together we were making our way to New York Creek Crossing. The trail is rolling along and I could tell from Trailmomma's form that she was feeling strong.

This stretch we focused and talked about our family and how exciting it was to see them, when out of nowhere I see her family. Vans and her kids had made their way down to New York Creek Crossing and had surprised us. That was an exciting moment and really boosted my spirits and Trailmomma's as well. In fact I think this gave her what she needed. After seeing them she was a different runner and I couldn't keep up with her. I was able to keep her in my sights. We were working together during this stretch, at one point I would be in the lead pulling us along and then Trailmomma would take the lead and pull us. I couldn't wait to see the next aid station as I wanted some more coke.

We arrived at the aid station and down 2 cokes, look over at Trailmomma and see the best thing ever. Payday's. She is enjoying a payday. I quickly scan the table and find them. I grab 2 look at trailmomma and we both start to hit the trail again, while others stuck around. We started hiking and finished up our snack. We had put some distance on the runners at the aid station, but I could hear them coming. We picked the pace up a bit and started to cruise. It was during this stretch that Trailmomma asked me how many more aid stations. I responded very quickly and assured her we had 2 more aid stations. She didn't believe me, but also didn't question me. Here I am thinking we have 9 more miles to go. 9 miles.

We cruised along, running more and more of the rollers. I was on a mission and pushed myself to remain steady but run more of the rollers. Trailmomma took the lead and out of nowhere she had this sudden burst of energy. She was gone, I couldn't respond. I focused on a nice and steady turnover, run that roller, keep going. Push, push, push. I could see the aid station and as I neared it it was Fleet Feet. I arrived to some loud cheering gave Dan a hug and guzzeled some coke. I quickly pointed to the sign on the table and said to Trailmomma, "See 3.47 to the next aid." 6 more miles is what I am thinking. She quickly says "3.47 to THE FINISH!" I respond "No, 3.47 to next aid." Then Debbie and Annabelle who were both voluntering look at me and say "No, you have 3.47 to the Finish." I and dumbfounded, really. I look at Debbie and quickly say can you take my pretzles, I can get by on coke them. She laughs and does. I guzzle some more coke and Trailmomma and I are both off. Thank you girls for the help.

3.47 sounded so much better then 6 miles to go. I apologized to Trailmomma. I had no clue where I thought we had 2 more aid stations, I guess my math didn't add up. This last stretch we have both been on numerous times. My legs were tired and I was ready to be done. 3.47 we got this is what I kept thinking. Trailmomma took the lead and I just tucked in behind her knowing that with each step forward was another step closer to the finish. I could see the levee. As we descended down to the levee I shout out "hey, that's Tigger T." Trailmomma's friend had come out and surprised us by being on the levee. We quickly gave hugs and said thanks for being there and that we would see her at the finish. A great surprise.

The levee never ended. I could see the finish line and I could hear the finish line. So instead of focusing on the finish line, I focused on the runner ahead of me. Our pace quickened but it felt like we were not making any progress. We were gaining on the runner and slowly passed him. Soon we made that right turn on to the single track trail that would take us to the finish line. Trailmomma got a burst of energy and I knew she had a strong kick. I couldn't let her get to far ahead of me, but I also couldn't kick as early as her. I had to time it just right. She kicked and I kicked a little, I was gaining. I can catch her, I kicked a bit more, I was so close. I could hear Anthony saying "Look, we have Trailmomma and Pigeon, training partners coming into the finish line." So close I was to her. She crossed the first mat and it looked like she slowed down a bit, I kicked only finaly time, I pushed as hard as I could gaining, when I hear Anthony "Oh no, Pigeon is catching you." and trailmomma pushes hard to the finish line. She crosses one second in front me. I almost caught her. What a finish. When we hit the homestretch we put on a strong finish. We were both smiling from ear to ear and laughing a bit about the strong finish. Way to get it done!

Finished!!! Laughing, just as it should be

We finished, we both had some obstacles to overcome through out the day but in the end we finished with a smile on our face and both our families there to see it. As my son get's older I hope I am an inspiration to him and that he will see that he can achieve anything he put's his mind too. I also hope he knows that he is my motivation and that I love him and my wife very much.

Thank you to everyone along the course who cheered and said encouraging words to me. Thank you to my wife and son, who put up with my training and for encouraging me to sign up for this race. It was a great day made even better because I was able to spend the day doing something I love with people I love. Until next time, Run Happy as trailmomma would say!

Go Here To Read About Trailmomma's experience and for pictures!!

Long Run Saturday

This past Saturday was long run Saturday. On the schedule we were to do any where from 20-26 weather depending as we had a big storm come through. What I wasn't expecting when I woke up at 3:00 am for shift change, AKA JCK Baby Duty, was not being able to get anything done that I needed to get done before leaving. As in I needed to eat, pack my gear, get my clothes, ect......JCK was having a rough morning and only wanted to be held, but that didn't sooth him, the only thing he really wanted was food, so I feed him which also meant his diaper needed changing. Pretty much from 3-5 I held him, eventually though I was able to get him back to sleep. As soon as that happened I quickly gathered my gear woke my wife and ran out of the house to meet Trailmomma and Jenn for our run.

We were lucky as the weather system that came through looked like it might hold off. I wore a short sleeve shirt, my vest, and shorts and a hat. The vest was for if it did rain, at least I could keep my core warm. Well about 1.5 into the run (if that) I took my vest off and never wore it again. It was muggy out on the Salmon Falls course. The trail was super nice though, it was soft but not to soft on the single track where you fell through. It was a fast trail this morning.

On the way out I took the lead and set the pace. We weren't exactly sure of how many miles we were doing, but the goal was to be on our feet for at least 20 miles. We weren't the only ones out there today. There was a large group that started maybe 15-30 minutes behind us, so for the time being we had the entire trail to ourselves. It was absolutely gorgeous out. My legs were feeling really good, I think the consistency in my workouts has been helping me tremendously not just in the physical aspect but also the mental aspects. Mentally I was feeling strong.

The three of us were making some good timing along the course. There are a few significant climbs at the beginning, but on the return those would all be some pretty fun descents. Soon we hit the fire trail and it was wide enough for us to run side by side and take in the views. We were making our way to the Movie Set, which of course once we arrived, I took a look around to check it out. At this point I was feeling pretty good and we only had a little bit to our turn around.

Once at the turn around we looked at the trailhead map and decided we would add a couple of simple loops to get our mileage up. We took off on this climb that brought with it some spectacular views of valley. The sun was shinning and it was a sight to see. The climb was pretty good, a constant grade and once we reached the top it was a very gradual down hill with some small rollers. Soon we were back at the Movie Set and added another loop along the river. This loop was interesting as there were a ton of porta potties. I chuckled at myself as there were so many bathrooms, but neither one of us needed to us them.

After this short loop we decided we better make our way back. Jenn and Trailmomma took the lead, I was glad about that as I needed a moment to myself to assess the situation. I was feeling a little low on energy, and I knew I needed to do something about it. I decided that now would be a good time enjoy some more Skittles. Instant energy, but I also knew it wouldn't last long so along with the skittles I took in a Special K bar. Now I was feeling better. I knew this because I saw some runners ahead and all I could think about was catching them. I took the lead and increased our pace a bit. We put together a nice stretch, running a bit of the uphills and keeping a strong steady pace on the climbs. It was go time, it was time to challenge myself and see what I could put together.

We were getting closer and closer to the runners so I kept the pace going, even on the slow and steady climb. I gave us a few minutes though to recover before putting together one final push on the climb. Soon we were passing them left and right. They were really nice and made room for the three of us. I knew though that once we passed we couldn't relax, we had to keep the pressure on ourselves and that meant running more of the climbs. We did just that, though I gave us a small section to recover. We were about 3-4 miles from the finish with only a few minor climbs before the long descent down Red Dragon. Here I took in more skittles, and offered Trailmomma her 1 skittle. (A joke between us) When I offered her the skittle she just took off up the hill. I yelled to her in a joking way "Fine, no skittle for you." She and Jenn were gone. They crushed that hill and hit the descent like they owned it.

I at this point was feeling the push we had made earlier and was just focused on keeping a steady pace up the hill. Once on top I let the hill take me down, dancing around the loose rocks and being carful not to let the hill take me to fast. Slowly we winded and turned and made our way down. We arrived back at the car all three of us feeling pretty good.

Back at the car we quickly stretched and changed our shoes and I jokingly  said "The sky is going to open up any minute now." And as if on cue, the sky opened up. We all three laughed and quickly jumped in the car before getting soaked. Overall this run was pretty solid. We put together some nice sections and with each long run I get more confidence in my fitness. Thanks for the great run ladies, I can't wait to do it again.

Next weekend Trailmomma and I are doing the Western States Training Run. This run is the last 20 miles of the States course. Always a great run, I haven't done this run in a few years, so I am really looking forward to it.    

Hanging out with this guy after the run. Miss him when I am gone

This past week training was pretty solid for me. On Monday I did 6 miles followed by 100 step ups. Tuesday was a rest day as JCM had his 2 week check up, Wednesday was hill repeats, 6 repeats. Thursday  I did 6 miles, Friday rest day (doctors appointment) Saturday 20 miles, Sunday 8 Miles. Pretty good week. I always enjoy the hill work outs. I feel stronger each week after completing them and I look forward to them each week.

On the Trails Again

This past week I have slowly been getting back at it. As in running/training again. On Thursday I started with 6 hill repeats. I needed to wake my legs up per say. Then on Friday I did a nice and easy 6 mile recovery run. I was feeling pretty good. Mentally, it helped to be focused again on running/training. This weekend I had big plans in store for me and Trailmomma, I emailed Trailmomma and we decided upon 16-20 miles starting at the base of stagecoach and doing the Clementine and Overlook loops. We wanted to do loops as the day was going to be super hot. Soon enough our little run of two turned into 5 of our running friends. Awesome, it's always better to run in a large group especially when it is hot.

We arrived at the base of Stagecoach around 6:25 am and were ready to start running around 6:30. It was already muggy when we started. We ran the Clementine loop first as I knew the mountain bikers would be out this nice weekend and I wanted to hit the loop before they started.. I was feeling pretty good, but I also noticed my legs were still recovering from my 50 mile adventure from a few weeks ago.

We finished up the Clementine loop and refueled at the car, I added some more ice and water to my hydration pack and enjoyed a banana and used the restroom. I also realized that the chaffing I had experienced at TRT was not 100% healed and was aggravated and hurt.

Soon we were ready to tackle the next 10 miles which we call the Overlook loop. We climbed the "fully exposed" Stagecoach and I just pitter pattered up this 2 mile climb. Power hiking every so often and just taking in the spectacular view. The climb was warm, but there was some shade, even though I still believe it is fully exposed. A little joke between Trailmomma and myself.

At the top of the climb the group regrouped as Miss P. and Karen tore it up. We hit the pavement and continued on our way. We had a little turkey sighting that made Trailmomma's heart skip a beat. I of course just laughed about it. We hit the water fountain and immediately dosed our bandanas in hopes of staying cool as it was getting really warm. Luckily we had stated early and would hopefully be done before the heat just drained us and baked us in the canyon. Miss P. lead the way and I took up the rear, just keeping the group in my sights. We hit the overlook in no time and again, cooled down. Now we only had 4 miles to go, but it was in the canyon and that was going to be hot.

I was feeling it in my legs and the chaffing was uncomfortable. We saw a lot of our friends on the trail at various points and it was nice to stop and catch up for a bit. That is the great thing about trail running, you can see a ton of your friends even though you may not have started at the same point and it makes for a nice day. We hit the waterfall and again cooled down. Only 2.5 miles to go, but the heat was zapping our energy. I was slowing down and I was sucking my water down. It was hot. The fire road to No Hands Bridge was super hot as it was exposed, but we kept a nice steady pace. We arrived at No Hands crossed over and made our way to Stagecoach for a nice 16 mile run.

I was done, the heat and my legs had had enough. Which was fine, as this was my first weekend running and 16 miles was a nice start. I am looking forward to hitting the trail with these amazing ladies again, the miles ticked by quickly and it was great to on the trails again.

What do I have planned in the upcoming months you may ask? I don't know, I do know that I am enjoying being on the trails again. I look forward to focusing on my fitness and maintaining a nice base.

Tahoe Rim Trail 100 Mile Race Report 2014

"A Glimpse of Heaven...........a Taste of Hell" is the motto for The Tahoe Rim Trails Endurance Runs. I was once again signed up for the 100 mile run. I had some unfinished business that I hoped to complete this go around. Like any race or 100 mile run this run is challenging. I have been coming to Tahoe every July for the past 4 years. Running the 50k twice, the 50 miler once and now attempting the 100 mile for the second time. I was determined this year that things would be different, I trained hard, I focused on my fueling, I had an amazing crew and pacers. All was set, now all I had to do was run.

The night before the race my crew and I reminisced over the past few months of training. We laughed and laughed the night away. Trailmomma has been my running partner for years, but this past year she was with me for just about every long run and boy did we have stories to tell. I think sitting there around the kitchen table and sharing and remembering our runs was one my favorite parts about the trip.

The morning of the race I awoke really early. I couldn't sleep, I had some major anxiety and when the alarm finally went off I bounced out of bed full of energy and ready to start the morning. My wife made me eggs, pancakes, ham, and strawberries. I enjoyed this meal like it was going to be my last. We arrived at the starting line about an hour before the race started and I found us a nice spot on the benches to relax and take in all the excitement. Soon it was time to head to the starting line. I kissed my wife and said " I will see you at diamond." and off I went into the cool morning.

Photo By Trailmomma, what was waiting for me on the kitchen table

Start To Hobart:

Right Before the start

The start to Hobart begins on a fire road. I quickly settled into a nice a pace. Soon the line began as we squeezed our way onto the single track trail. I wasn't in a hurry, I didn't try to pass anyone but there were plenty of runners passing me. I wasn't moving slow, I was moving just as quickly as the runner in front me. It was a comfortable power hike as we were climbing, or I should say snaking our way to the top before a nice descent down to Marlette lake. This year I took it all in. I took the time to look up ahead and also below me as the lights from everyone's flashlights were pretty amazing to see. Plus it kept my mind occupied and focused on the current task at hand, to make my way to Hobart aid station, roughly 6 miles. I arrived into Hobart on schedule and quickly gathered my drop bag and enjoyed a Special K breakfast bar. It was easy to eat as it was soft and tasted really good. I was also fueling with Power Gel as I had stopped using the prepetuam as I was getting sick while I trained with it. 

Hobart To Tunnel Creek:

I was in and out of Hobart rather quickly and started the climb up to peak and a gorgeous view of the lakes. I again settled into my pace and focused on the next 5 miles to Tunnel Creek. I knew that trail was super runnable once I crested the peak and I had a nice downhill section into Tunnel Creek. I also knew not to open up to much as the day was just beginning. I arrived at the downhill section and enjoyed the nice smooth rollers and switch backs to Tunnel Creek. I passed a few runners, but I didn't push the pace.I was running comfortable. I was excited to get to Tunnel Creek as my some of my crew were going to be there, I always enjoy seeing a friendly face or two when I am on this trail. Trailmomma and her friend from Canada Be-Well-Run would be at Tunnel Creek and with each step that brought me closer to Tunnel, the bigger my smile became. I arrived into Tunnel right on schedule, and quickly grabbed my drop bag and supplies, refilled my pack and departed. Trailmomma and Be-Well-Run were both waiting for me and cheering loud. It was awesome to see them. 

Photo by Trailmomma, Leaving Tunnel Creek #1 on my way to Red House Loop

Tunnel Creek to Red House Loop

The next section of trail was a 6 mile loop with a massive descent to the lowest elevation on the course. This descent is a quad buster and bone jarring. I took it conservatively on the descent. Here I saw a lot of the front runners and some of the faster 50k and 50 milers started to pass me as they started an hour after us. It is pretty cool to see and even better on the climb back out to offer and receive words of encouragement. I started the slow climb on the fire road. Running some here and power hiking some there. I hit the red house aid station and quickly did my best at making a ice bandana and cooling myself off as the day was getting warm, a bit warmer then previously reported. I knew this next section would be a grind so I just put my head down and continued on my way. Finally I hit the real climb out and slowly started to make my way back to Tunnel Creek. It was tough and it was hot. I just put my head down and carried on. Soon I could see my crew and Trailmomma comes running down to me and asked "How are you?" a harmless question, I quickly say "Why?" a not so harmless answer. She was a bit concerned because in years past I have run this flat section. I was feeling that climb out. I quickly avoided her question and looked at Be-Well-Run and asked "How did you enjoy the climb into Tunnel Creek?" she said "This isn't about me it's about you, how are you?" Such a great crew!!!!! I of course needed some calories and to recover from the climb so I entered Tunnel Creek and took my time getting situated. 

Photo By: Trailmomma, coming out of the red house loop, still smiling 

Photo By: Trailmomma, getting weighed for the first time, down 1 pound

As I entered Tunnel Creek I immediately was weighed. I was down 1 pound from Friday's weigh in, nothing to be concerned about. After weighing in I went and grabbed my drop bag and ate a special K bar, grabbed my bottle to help cool me down during the next 12 miles and picked up a few more gels. Then I sat down in the chair and emptied out my shoes, they were full of sand and pebbles, plus this gave me a moment to breath. Then I gathered my things and used the restroom and told my crew "At diamond have ensure and gatorade ready, I will see you guys there." and off I went to the cheering of my crew. (I also forgot to cross the timing mat, but my crew saved the day and told them)

Tunnel Creek to Bull Wheel to Diamond Peak:

Now I was on the longest stretch of trail, but I wasn't alone. My friend Tina who was also running the 100 miler was with me. We talked and talked, which made the 3 miles fly by. We arrived at bull wheel grabbed some food and started on the 9 mile stretch. I was carrying my water bottle to help keep my cool, as last year I burned up going through here. This year I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I started to notice my energy levels getting low, so I ate a special K bar and took in a gel. Soon, instead of power hiking I was running again. The fuel was what I needed. I pushed on keeping a nice comfortable pace, power hiking some here and there. Then I made that left turn and knew I had 4 miles to Diamond peak and my crew. On this descent though my stomach I had a stomach cramp and had to walk some of the downhill, which was fine as it saved my legs. I was near Diamond Peak so I changed my focus on what I needed instead of how I was feeling. I wasn't feeling terrible, but I also wasn't feeling good. The descent seemed to never end and all I wanted was for the descent to end. Soon, I could hear cheering and I knew I was close. I popped out of the trail and hit the parking lot and my crew immediately went into action. 

Arriving at Diamond Peak Aid Station

I told my crew I had put together a nice 12 mile section, in fact so much better then the previous years. I was stoked about that. I was focused coming into Diamond Peak. My crew took my pack and cooled me down as I walked to check in. Once I checked in they showed me our spot and I went to the bathroom. I was having a bit of discomfort (put lightly) and I needed to address it. I used the restroom, and it hurt. I was chaffed pretty good in that area and it was bleeding as well. In  my efforts this year to keep cool by squirting myself the water my shorts chaffed me in the groin. It hurt, I was swollen, but I was also determined. After the bathroom, I emptied out the pebbles and sand in my shoes, ate some food, drank some coke and was ready to go. 

Diamond Peak, taking care of the sand and pebbles

Photo By: Be-Well-Run, (I should have tried to keep my shorts dry)

I also soaked myself with the hose. I was overheating and it felt so good to cool down. My crew was fantastic here, they had me in and out in no time. I was excited to see them and also excited that this year I came into Diamond Peak in much better condition then last year. 

Kuni and I

Diamond Peak to Bull Wheel:

I was now on  my way up the 2 mile climb of the ski slope. Kuni walked me out a bit and told me to take my time on this climb. I had plenty of time, in fact, he told me to slow down, that it was ok to walk the downhills. I thanked him and off I went. I had my water bottle to keep me cool and I was fueled up. The first mile of the climb isn't that tough, I hiked it and I would pause in the shade when there was some to recover. Soon Tina caught up to me and we both worked our way up the hill. We would pause in the shade on the steeper section, and soon we were pausing every so many feet. It was brutal, but you know what, I was doing better then last year. As we climbed I looked to our left and noticed a storm cell coming in. I told Tina about it and that I hoped it hit us on our way to Tunnel Creek and not Snow Valley. I could hear the thunder in the distance. We climbed and climbed and eventually made our way to bull wheel. Once at bull wheel, we enjoyed the best tasting water mellon I have had this year (Ok, it has been the only water mellon I have had, but it was delicious.) We took some time here, I ate another special k bar and a gel. That climb took a lot out of me and I knew I needed the calories. 

Bull Wheel to Tunnel Creek:

Tina and I were both on our way to Tunnel Creek. It was 3 miles pretty much downhill to the aid station. I had a nice pace going, but I was also uncomfortable, the chaffing was getting worse, and causing a lot of pain. I sat down and emptied a boulder of a rock out of my shoes and then carried on. By this point Tina was a good distance ahead of me and moving well. I was feeling pretty bad and all I could focus on was the chaffing. I couldn't move past it. It burned. I eventually arrived at Tunnel Creek along with some sprinkles. Here I weighed in again and was down another pound, again nothing to be worried over the volunteer said. After weighing I grabbed my drop bag. I ate a Honey Stinger Waffle, a gel, a quarter of a pay day bar, and drank some coke. I took my time in this aid station. I also put the water bottle in my drop bag, and pondered over grabbing my rain jacket. (I had packed a wind breaker in my Hobart drop bag, my rain jacket in the tunnel creek drop bag, and my crew had a wind breaker at the 50 mile marker) I decided against (a decision that would prove costly in the miles to come). It only sprinkled a bit, so at the time I wasn't to concerned about the weather. 

Tunnel Creek To Hobart:

I left tunnel creek hoping that the calories I had just put in would help me get back on track. I also had plenty of food and gels in my pack to refuel on my way. I knew that this next section would have a lot of power hiking and the only thing was, my legs left empty. I didn't have any power in them. I slowly made my way up each switch back and just kept moving forward. This was not good. What just happened? I couldn't believe how bad I was feeling. I tried to focus on the smaller picture of just getting to Hobart and not how many miles I had left. But it was hard, I cried some on the way to Hobart. I was struggling. I kept thinking that the calories needed some time to digest and that I would start to feel better. I kept moving forward switch back after every switch back, the process was slow and painful. The sun was no longer out and the storm clouds at any moment would open up. I slowly arrived at Hobart and just looked at the volunteers. The color was gone from my face and I eventually asked for some warm soup. I sat down and pondered what to do. I grabbed my drop bag and ate a waffle and a gel. I also grabbed my light wind breaker. I sat back down, looked at the volunteers and asked about the situation on snow valley. She responded "It hasn't been evacuated yet. But it is cold up there." I said thank you and packed my wind breaker. Before I could stand up a tremendous boom sounded and streak of lightening danced in the sky. The volunteer was again looked at me and said "Well, it is evacuating right now with that." I held my breath and could only think, I am getting ready to head that way into the storm. 

Hobart to Snow Valley:

I left Hobart, not fully recharged, but ready non the less. I was hiking my way into the storm and secretly hoping it wouldn't be that bad. I mean I was only going to 9,250 feet. I deep down knew better and quickly increased my power hike. I didn't know what to expect, but with each step forward the thunder slowly grew. It started as small growl and slowly grew the higher I got. Then the lightening came, it was bright and seemed very close. I would count until I heard the thunder and then another crack only this time it scared me and I screamed. It was close, closer the I ever want to be. The thunder and lightening were really close and there wasn't anything I could do. Then it slowly started to rain, I unpacked my wind breaker and put it on. Just in time as I placed my hood on my head, the hail came down in buckets. I was in a hail storm and each pelt of hail hurt. The lightening was till dancing around me and the thunder was loud. Then it poured buckets of rain and the trail slowly vanished to river. I saw some runners running to tree line. I followed and asked what they are doing as I knew if I stopped hypothermia would set in in these conditions. The guy looked at me and said "Do you want to go to the aid station." I said "yes." He said "Ok, let's do this together as if we stay here we will get hypothermic." I said "Ok" and off we went. I were sprinting on the trail with the thunder and rain. It was raining so loud we could hardly here each other when we spoke. We picked up a few other runners and together we made our way to Snow Valley, which I was pretty sure would be empty and not be a safe place to stay. We crested the last small hill and were completely exposed with the lightening dancing where it choose. We rushed into the tent and were greeted by a volunteer who told us they had to evacuate and that it was best to keep moving as stopping now we were at risk for hypothermia. I quickly drank a ensure thanked the volunteer and started down the river trail. 

Snow Valley To Spooner Lake (mile 50):

My feet by now were killing me. They were completely soaked and freezing from run off. I couldn't keep them out of the puddles/river. The chaffing was even worse now and I was cold, I couldn't feel my hands. Each step on a rock my feet screamed at me. They were tender and sore from being soaking wet. I was suffering, but that is all part of a 100 miler. The question was how much and how long could I suffer. I slowly made my way down to the tree line and here it wasn't as cold, but I was still cold. I knew my crew was probably worried about me as I was off schedule. This 7 miles was longest thus far for me. It was pure torture, each step caused bolts of pain to shot through my body. By far the worst was the chaffing as the rain didn't help me. I slowly made my way down. Eventually I arrived at the lake level and soon I saw Kuni, my pacer and friend. I became emotional in seeing him and quickly told him about snow valley how I had gotten caught out in the storm. He looked at very supportive and said "so you experienced yourself a mini Hardrock." You see Kuni had just completed Hardrock the weekend before and had run in far worse weather then I, so yes, you could say it was a mini Hardrock experience for me. He walked me into the 50 mile aid station and my crew went to work. 

My crew and others trying to keep everything dry including themselves. 

Mile 50:

They rushed soup to me and were just thankful that I had some kind of a jacket in. I told them I was cold, the chaffing was out of control and my feet were killing me. My wife told me to sit down so that she could assess the situation and fix my feet. We took my soak off and she said "oh wow, your feet are water logged." They were so water logged, we couldn't repair the 3 blisters I had. I had a blister on the sole of foot and on both pinky toe. Last year I had blisters in between each toe, so this was far better then last year. The bad part was we couldn't dry my feet out, they tried, they put foot warmers on my feet. I also shared my concern in regards to the chaffing. It was really bad, so bad I could hardly run. I looked at my crew and knew I had a tough decision to make. They could see that I was torn with what needed to happen. I wasn't able to run due to the chaffing and  my feet were water logged. I looked at my wife and told her to turn in my chip. I was pulling the plug here. It was a serious blow to me. I came into mile 50 mentally ready tackle 50 more miles, but with the chaffing and water logged feet, physically I couldn't. The chaffing was/is getting worse and with me just sitting there, I was on fire it hurt that bad. I kept apologizing to my crew and pacers as they had invested so much time and energy to support me all day and through out my training. I felt like a failure and a disappointment. They kept reassuring me that it was ok, that ultimately it was my decision and a tough one at that. To this day, I question myself on that call. But ultimately in the end, there was no way I could have gone on. 

My amazing crew: Be-Well-Run, Trailmomma,and Rachel my wife (we are expecting our first baby)

Well I be back........maybe......is there another race this season?........maybe?.............

Thank you to my amazing crew for being there all day and braving the storm. Thank you to my very supportive wife for supporting me through the many long training days, I love you so much. Thank you to my friends and family for believing in me, I may have fallen short, but I am not finished.

Tahoe Rim Trail 50 Mile Race Report 2012

A Glimpse of Heaven and a Taste of Hell

I was less than 3/4 of a mile from the finish. I was running on fumes and just keeping it together; when I see this massive hill. Maybe not massive but a tiny roller. Anthony softly tells me "You can hike this hill." I reply "please, thank you" as I transitioned into my hike I slowly feel my lungs closing, I couldn't get any air, I was wheezing which was causing me to hyperventilate, but I was still moving forward. Nothing is going to stop me; except the fact that I couldn't breath. I hear Anthony say to drink some water, I take a sip some how and keep hiking. I am so close to the finish, just keep it together I tell myself, keep it together, keep moving what every I do keep moving as I am wheezing and unable to breath........

The Tahoe Rim Trail 50 miler has been secretly been on my bucket list. I didn't tell anyone that deep down I wanted to run it, but I also knew that it would take some serious training and commitment like no other. I did just that, I changed my training program up, I even changed my diet and as the weeks and months went by I could feel a difference in my body, I felt stronger! I knew that my commitment had been there now it was all going to be tested and tested it was both physically and mentally that day.

The start of the race at Spooner Lake State Park, is at 7,000 feet, I would be running to the highest point of the course just below the 9,214 foot Snow Valley Peak. The low point on the course is at the bottom of the Red House Loop or other wise known as A Taste of Hell at approximately 6800 feet with a very substantial climb near the end.

The Race:

On my way to Marlette Lake which by the way is a 1,500 elevation gain over roughly 4 miles I had decided that I would take this very conservatively. I actually had no choice in the matter as there was a huge traffic jam just getting onto the single track. I took this in stride and just went with it. I am pretty sure the traffic jam helped me remain calm and steady. My hike was very comfortable, in fact I didn't notice any heaviness in my legs like I had in years past. I guess all my hill training had paid off. On the small descent I fly down it, my legs enjoyed it and it allowed me to open them up. After the small descent there is another climb. I was at the base of Marlette Lake (7823 feet) and climbed on dirt roads to the Hobart Road aid station at 8120 feet.

I power hiked the fire road and continued to tell myself to stay relaxed and comfortable. This positive reinforcement went a long ways at it reminded me to conserve. I arrived a Hobart and quickly grabbed a PB&J square and was in and out within seconds. I only slowed down to grab the square. I continued my power hike up to a spectacular view of the lake. What a sight it was, but I didn't spend long looking as I was on a mission. I was now making my way to Tunnel Creek aid station where my crew would be waiting for me. I was feeling really good, lots of energy, I was mentally focused and on point with my nutrition (or so I thought) and slowly reaching my small attainable goals. I didn't look at the big picture of having to run 50 miles but rather shorter attainable goals, basically aid station to aid station.

On my descent into Tunnel I let the trail take me. Not pushing the pace but allowing the trail to tell me what to run. I was listening to my body. I arrived at Tunnel in a little over 2 hours and 40 minutes give or take. I was on schedule. My crew Anthony and Trailmomma quickly went to work, asking me questions trying to decide what I needed. Apparently I wasn't speaking much which caused some concern for them. I thought I was speaking though. They had my bottle ready of hammer perpetuem and I switched out, Anthony refilled my pack while Trailmomma made sure I had everything I needed. I needed to get the rocks out of my shoes and after doing that I downed two gels as I felt a little behind, but not depleted. Anthony poured some cold water on me which he always enjoys and offered me some words of wisdom "stay relaxed on the descent". I was off now for the taste of hell, the Red house loop.

Here comes the cold water; Photo by Trailmomma

Anthony loves this part! Photo by Trailmomma

Taking in fuel and last minute advice for Red House Loop, looking focused; Photo by Trailmomma

This loop is about 6.3 miles with a substantial descent at the beginning and also a challenging climb at the end. The descent could easily destroy my quads and while I went down I just kept thinking "when is this going to end" It hurt to descend, not my legs but my body, the pounding my body took step after step I really needed to be at the bottom. I hit the bottom and continued to motor. Knowing that fueling would be important I sucked down a gel and continued to drink my perpetuem and occasional took sips from hydration pack. On the small climb to the red house I would hike and then run, hike and run, repeating this process. I just needed to keep moving.

I went right by the red house and kept on moving. This started the climb up but it wouldn't be the steepest part that was still to come. I ran on the fire road, knowing that this was runnable and it would help me make up some time. I slowly found myself walking and very low on energy, hmm where did this low point come from I asked myself? I could have sworn I took in some gels, (I took in 2 gels at tunnel before the descent and than only 1 more gel before arriving at the red house, and maybe 1/4 of the hammer perpetuem was drunk) My brain was telling me one thing; I had been eating when in actuality I hadn't been eating or drinking, elevation must have messed with my head. I took in a gel and some salt, the gel was hard to get down but I managed. I arrived at the climb and just put my head down and powered up it as quickly and efficiently as I could. I found myself pausing to catch my breath and than moving onward and upward. It was steep, but I powered on.

I could see the aid station and broke out into a small jog during the flat section. I saw Anthony and Trailmomma my crew and I believe the first words out of my mouth were "I feel a low coming on" That was all I said. My crew had no other information to go on; Trailmomma asked if I needed more drink mix, I told her very matter of factly "yes, my bottle is empty" In reality I had about half a bottle left. I also told her I was out of gels, she didn't tell me at time, but I had plenty still. Anthony quickly took my pack because I told him I had been drinking; in fact I hadn't it was still pretty full. Both Trailmomma and Anthony were probably really concerned because I remember Anthony not telling me but asking me to please drink more water. I thought I was drinking, just like I thought I was eating.

My return from Red House; photo by Trailmomma

I was now going to go 12 miles to Diamond Peak ski resort. This is a long stretch longer than I ever imagined. My stomach was bloated and I was running really low on energy. I was slowly going into a dark place. This first section is really runnable and I threw together what I could reminding myself to run, not hike but run. I hooked on with some other runners and allowed the pace to be dictate for me. I was not in the right mind frame. I continued to drink my hammer perpetuem and I think I managed to get some gels in me but honestly I can't remember. All I know is I suffered during this stretch.

I arrived at Bull Wheel and just kept moving, I didn't stop knowing it would take a lot for me to get going again. I was shuffling along and than I was just walking not hiking but walking. I was empty; I took in a gel and some salt and kept moving. Than a female runner went by me and yelled out "Hi Melisa!" It was Jennifer, we had met back at the fire trails last year where we both volunteered and became friends. I yelled back "Hi!" I was so happy to see here. I watched her go by me and than something snapped in my head. I thought, I need to hook on, her pace is doable and she gave me the little bit of energy I needed. I did just that, my walked turned into a shuffle and I slowly hooked on. Jennifer asked if I wanted by and I told her, "No, if you don't mind I will just hook on." She had no problem. We chit chatted for bit and than we just focused on the task at hand. We worked with each other each of us taking a turn in the lead, I had a stronger hike but she had a stronger shuffle than I so we helped each other. I took my turn in the lead and when she noticed the pace was dropping she offered to take the lead from me and I thanked her. But slowly after a few miles my pace slowed and she went further ahead. I tried to keep her in my sights but I was not moving well, she was gone and I thought she looked strong and that I would never see her again.

I hit the descent that would take me to the Diamond Peak Ski Run and the wheels completely fell off. I was in so much pain on this descent, the pain wasn't in my legs but in my stomach and lower pelvic area. Oh the pain just about stopped me in my tracks, each step caused screaming pain and I was barely holding on. My mental capacity now was to reach the aid station and my crew, but I had no idea how far it was. The climb down winded this way and that, it kept going and going and with each step the pain got worse and worse. Runners slowly passed me as I couldn't keep the pace, I was falling apart and doing everything I could to keep it together. I just told myself "keep it together, just keep it together." I kept moving forward when all I really wanted to do was stop and walk, but I wouldn't allow it no matter how bad it got.

I hit the pavement in a all time low ready to cry because of the pain. I arrived at the aid station to huge cheers and my name being yelled. Anthony and Trailmomma came to me and they knew something was wrong. I was not speaking, not one word, it took to much effort to speak and I needed all my effort to stay on my feet. I handed off my pack and looked at Trailmomma and told her I need a bathroom! I checked in and made my way to the bathroom. I was surprised at this because I actually peed and it was clear, and I also did #2. I stood up and just doubled over in pain, standing caused by stomach to hurt. I exited the stall and Trailmomma had some Tylenol for me, which I took after doubling over again from the pain. I made my way back outside where I sat down and removed the rocks from my shoe. Sunscreen was applied, my perpetuem was ready, coke was in another bottle and my pack was good to go. I was sitting there and I hear Anthony tell me "we ready?" I knew that I only had one reply "yes" I say quielty, Again he asked "we ready?" "Yes!" I say louder, I stood up and he instructed me to get soaking wet as wet as I could. Tony helped get me wet and the coldness caused me to start hyperventilating. It was cold, I was overheated and didn't even know it.

The Last 20; A Game Changer:

It took me 7 hours to arrive at the 30 miler mark and the diamond peak ski resort; I was in bad shape upon arrival. Anthony and I headed out of the Diamond Peak resort at 8540 feet for a 1700 foot climb in just under 2 miles. This was going to brutal! Words can not describe the nature of this climb, pictures don't do it justice. Surprisingly I was in good spirits, my crew and friends did their job, they put me back together, though I didn't take in any calories while I was at the aid station.

The climb took about 45 minutes to an hour to complete. Each time I thought we near the top, surprise I wasn't. I had to pause every now and than and when I did I would take a look behind me and enjoy the great view of Lake Tahoe and also where I had come not to long ago. It put it into perspective for me. I was at an all time low, but now with each step forward I was getting higher and stronger. I was hiking this "hill" with power, my will had not been broken it was getting stronger with each step forward up. I was not done,yet!

We climbed and climbed slowly gaining and also passing some. We joked and laughed; the best joke came from me. We were hiking up, both of us with our heads down starring at our shoes and the sand when I said "The view really is great" Anthony just chuckled and I didn't understand why until a few steps later. The "view" of our shoes and sand was great. Priceless.

Ever so slowly we made our way up when all of a sudden I was doubled over in excuriating pain, pain so bad that I was almost dropped to me knees. If Anthony could have seen my eyes he would have noticed they rolled back from the pain. We kept moving on, battling the pain. Than the pain moved lower into my pelvic and again I was doubled over and not moving. We slowed the pace down even though my legs were feeling strong. Walk 5 steps double over, walk 5 more double over. Finally we arrived at top and I was very surprised to see the aid station. It was a small descent but the pain I had just intensified with each step, running was out of the question, but I did. It didn't look pretty and it hurt but I ran the little descent.

At the aid station I really wanted some tums, to see if that would help settle my stomach, but they didn't have any. They did have Sports legs and I took 2 capsules. I really didn't know what it was but it was suppose to help decrease the lactate acid in the legs. All I know is it actually helped my stomach. We pushed on after filling up the bottles with coke.

We attacked the descent to Tunnel Creek. I was able to run pain free and made up some time. My mental capacity was also back, I was fully understanding and joking around. I was a new runner and Anthony knew and capitalised on this opportunity. He pushed me and told me when to transition into a hike. I was moving really well, there was no stiffness, I just allowed the trail to take me. It was a beautiful thing.

As we neared Tunnel I gave Anthony the plan, I needed to use the bathroom and he would fill my pack with water and fill the bottles with coke and we would be out. I hit the bathroom and as I exited found Anthony, I took in a swig of coke and was ready to go. Only Anthony was chowing down. He saw me and I waved at him that I was ready, I knew he needed to fuel but I was ready. I exited the aid station with him right behind me, or so I thought. He had been stopped by his fans and a photo opportunity took place. Meanwhile I am running down the trail focused on the task. He catches up to me, but it took a bit of an effort on his part. I knew he would catch and I wasn't that worried about, it was just funny and we laughed about it for a few miles. Me leaving him behind at the aid station.

Anthony pausing for his photo opp. Photo by Gretchen Brugman

The climb back to Hobart is challenging because it appears that I should be able to run it, but in actuality it is a pretty good sustained climb. I choose to power hike. I took the lead for a bit and than I instructed Anthony that in case he hadn't noticed I was racing. He knew I was racing at this point but I needed to make sure he knew that I knew I was racing. At this point I asked him to take the lead, I knew I had another gear in me and I asked him to push the pace. I wanted the pace increased but I was having a hard time doing it, but I knew that if he did I would do what ever needed to be done to keep up. He pushed the pace let me tell you. We even ran some of the climb. He continued to monitor my fuel intake as by this point I had only had 2 gels and the coke in the bottles. I knew that I could make up a ton of time just by hiking and I was still hiking with a purpose.We were finally passing other runners and when we passed them I wouldn't allow them to hook on. I was making a statement, I was on a mission. It was here that we spotted Jennifer and I was hoping she would hook on. She was battling some serious stomach issues and wasn't able to to hook sadly.

As we neared Hobart I was took the lead back and was running the trail very well at this point, the little rollers I would roll up and over without breaking my stride. I was passing 100 milers, one female 100 miler hooked on and started up a conversation with Anthony. She remembered us from miles back and told us we were moving really well. This lit a fire within me, I increased our pace and slowly she fell back, again I was making statement I told Anthony. Anthony just laughed when I told him that.

Hobart was arriving and I again gave Anthony the plan, wow here I am some 39-40 miles into the race and I am communicating unlike when I saw him and Pam at mile 11 and 18. A big change in attitude! I told him coke and water and I was again going to use the bathroom. After the bathroom I found Anthony and he quickly iced me down and cleaned my face, I was covered in salt and getting the grim off of my face was Heaven.

Off we went to Snow Valley which sits at 9,214 feet. A huge elevation gain. I was focused and on a mission. I ran until I needed to transition into a hike. My hike was still powerful and I knew that the finish was near. Anthony was always the calm voice in my head, keep drinking, now hike this, lets run this, keep going a few more paces. It worked, what ever he said I executed. On the climb up to snow valley, my breathing became very labored and I started wheezing, I could feel my heart beating up in my throat. I had to slow my pace down to recover. Once recovered we continued to motor. We arrived at snow valley and I took some more sports legs, and Anthony refilled the bottles.

7 miles to the finish, that is all 7 miles a piece of cake after what I have already been through. I had hit numerous lows, been depleted of precious calories but somehow someway I was still moving and not just moving but passing other runners while no one was passing me. The fire was burning and the mental aspect of running had pushed me this far. But how much did I have left? Did I have enough in the tank to finish, or did I spend everything in my mental tank? That was a question that I couldn't answer. There was only one way to find out, to finish strong!

The first part of the descent is very technical, very rocky and extremely difficult to get any rhythm. I was constantly having to stop and side step over a boulder or bounce off another boulder. My downhill legs at this point were not liking this and all the stopping and going was painful. Anthony reminded me that it opens up in a bit and I just went with it. No sense in getting angry at this stage of race. I was still passing other runners and no one was able to hook on.

I hit the very runnable section and run I did. I felt free and alive. My leg turnover was solid and I was effortlessly maneuvering around the boulders and over the boulders, effortlessly running the little ups and finding that last gear I needed. Effortlessly making my way down passing others and only one runner hooked on. This freaked me out, and I am sure Anthony could tell, I did everything I knew how to drop the runner. I increased my pace running 8 minute miles on this descent, I even took risk by running over the boulders instead of around, I pushed the hills that much harder but everything I did was not working. He was still there. Anthony calmly told me that I shouldn't push it and risk imploding because that would be fatal, especially after coming this far. I took his advice and slowed the pace back down to a more manageable sustainable pace. A more comfortable pace.

4 miles to go and it felt like I had nothing left to give. Anthony kept reminding to hike this hill and keep it easy, he knew I was running on fumes and was doing everything he could to get me to the finish in one piece and running. He didn't push me, he let me push myself, he offered up the encouragement I needed to continue to believe in myself. I dug even deeper and was hitting the wall, but just like digging for a well, if you dig far enough you will find water. I found my water per say; I was running, slowly counting down the miles, I knew the terrain and I just had to dig deep with each little roller. I was on fumes, I mean fumes there wasn't much left and the runner was still with us. That runner may not have known it but he was pushing me to keep pushing myself, I didn't want him to pass me.

We arrived at the last aid station and we didn't stop, the three of use on our way to the finish. 1.7 miles to go. One final descent to the lake and then it levels out and I can see the finish. It was on other side. I knew that once I crossed the wood bridge we would be in the home stretch. But the bridge couldn't come fast enough. I was less than 3/4 of a mile from the finish. I was running on fumes and just keeping it together; when I see this massive hill. Maybe not massive but a tiny roller. Anthony softly tells me "You can hike this hill." I reply "please, thank you" as I transitioned into my hike I slowly feel my lungs closing, I couldn't get any air, I was wheezing which was causing me to hyperventilate, but I was still moving forward. Nothing is going to stop me; except the fact that I couldn't breath. I hear Anthony say to drink some water, I some how take a sip and kept hiking.

I am so close to the finish, just keep it together I tell myself, keep it together, keep moving what every I do keep moving as I am wheezing and unable to breath. As I crest the climb I am able to breath and somehow find the strength to run again. The bridge, I see the bridge. I cross the bridge and find another gear, I hope I didn't kick to early I remember thinking. Anthony is right by my side matching me stride for stride, offering encouragement, almost there you can see the finish. I hear cheering but I am just focused on crossing the finish line, I have to get there, again I increase the pace and than again I increase the pace and I cross the finish line in 12:23:01 (give or take).

The final push; Photo by Trailmomma

What an incredible journey! I ran the first 30 miles in about 7 hours and the last 20 miles in 5:23. A pretty good split considering the terrain and the black diamond ski slope I had to hike up. It is amazing what the body can do under tough condition. I never thought about dropping I only thought about finishing. My training for this race was spot on, as I have become a stronger runner. The mental aspect of running should not be taken lightly, I know my mental game is what pushed my body those last 20 miles, that and having great support all day.

Finished a well deserved chair! Photo by Trailmomma

Thank you to my crew; Trailmomma and Anthony. You two knew what I needed and you helped me achieve and overcome this event. Thank you for your support all day. Anthony thank you for running with me. Your confidence in my ability allowed me to push on. You knew when and how to push me and you also knew when to let me push myself. I had a great time laughing and joking with you on the trails! An adventure I will not soon be forgetting, or the FROGS!

Fire Trails Volunteer

This past weekend I volunteered at the 29th Annual Dick CollinsFiretrails 50 and also home to the Golden Hills Trail Marathon. It was a very exciting experience that I was able to enjoy with some great friends Dustin and Michaela and Landon, and where I also made some new friends, Stan and Jennifer and Adam.
Dustin and Michaela and I travelled down Friday afternoon and enjoyed some drinks and food with 15 other volunteers and Julie Fingar the co-race director this year. By the time we actually got to bed it was really late as in close to 10pm I think. I had a early day on Saturday as Michaela and I were volunteering at packet pick up and needed to be ready to go by 4am.

Lucky for us it wasn’t too cold at 4am. We arrived at Lake Chabot and quickly helped unload and get the packet pick up area set up. Soon the early start runners were trickling in and we were busy. There were plenty of volunteers helping us at packet pick up and soon the time flew by and we had to leave to get our aid station set up.

It took about 30 minutes for us to reach our aid station and when we arrived it was still pitch dark out. I had half of the aid station in my car while Dustin had the other half. Michaela and I quickly got to work unloading my car and setting up what we could. I pulled out my table and started cutting up the potatoes and bananas.  We also set up the water jugs. Now all we had to do was wait for Dustin and the early starters.

Getting the aid station all ready

The early starters started coming in and we helped them as best we could soon Dustin arrived and we all scrambled to get the rest of the station ready for the runners. As we were finishing setting up the front runners started flowing in. Just as soon as we had our table all ready it was whipped out. It was nonstop from the moment the front runner came through. More PB&J, more water, more Gu brew, ahh crap we need more snacks. But we held it together and with the help of Daisy and the stellar crew we managed to get the runners in and out in no time. We were a smooth running aid station, well that is once we found our groove, which didn’t take too long. We are all experienced runners and we just jumped in and did what was needed. It was all very exciting and at times overwhelming.

All ready!!!!

Once the rush came through we were able to get everything ready for the next wave and we also enjoyed a few beers. Soon we were applying sunscreen and getting into the super hero costumes. As that was the theme of our aid station. It was a lot fun, but also a lot of work. I have a new appreciation for all the volunteers.

The second half of the day was actually really busy. We had waves of runners coming into the aid station. Sometimes it was one and other times it was 5-10. Our aid station was rocking the super hero theme and it seemed that all the runners appreciated it and some even managed to laugh. We were nonstop once the second wave of runners came through, but we were all rocking our super hero outfits.

I am truly grateful that I was able to be a part of this event. I enjoyed helping out my fellow ultra trail runners and most of all it helped me regain my passion for running. After my last race I had fallen into a huge funk and by volunteering it helped bring me back. Again, thank you to all that volunteered at Fire Trails and if you haven’t volunteered at an event I would encourage you to do so. For more pictures go here e earlyFOr more piFoFo

It was a awesome day, but I was exhuasted afterward. Very glad I had this opportunity to give back to the ultra running community. What an experience!