How can this be when last weekend I was mentally strong and physically ready for my long runs. What is the difference? But of course with the rest this week all I have been doing is thinking and listening?
Hmmm????
But with all of this thinking it has also caused some serious doubts to flow into my head. The Double is 3 weeks away, am I going to be able to finish it? That is the biggest question mark I have. The answer I keep telling myself is, my fitness is there. I just ran a 50K last month and I haven't stopped running. I have the miles. I just don't think mentally at this point I am ready for it. Maybe in 3 weeks I will be.
The remodel over the past 6 weeks has slowly consumed me. Mentally I need a break, maybe that is what this week is for. It just wasn't in my plan. In case you don't know me, I am a planner. I live by routines it is what I am most comfortable with doing. Please do not judge me, I love my routines and if one of those routines is thrown I am thrown. But I am slowly dealing with that especially in my work. Every day is new, I can't have a routine because there is just too much to be expected and plans change on a dime.
I am not afraid of the pain, there is some pain in running 52.4 miles, I run in pain all the time I am use to it. I think my biggest fear is not finishing and letting my friend and family down and also letting myself down. I do not like failure, but who does. I strive to overcome any obstacle in my path, it drives me to finish something when others tell me it can't be done. I think this is motivating me again. Yes!!!
I also think I need to put a 1 up in my back pocket for when things get tough out there, I can call upon my extra life.
It worked for Coach Nikon during the TRT 50k, he placed in the top 10.
Maybe all of the doubts that are floating around in my head needed to get out, so that I can think clearly on the next few weeks and focus once again. I need to focus on one day at a time, one moment at a time and nothing else. I am feeling scattered and pulled in fifty thousand different directions that I have lost my focus. When my nephew is running around and darting back and forth I tell him "Focus" maybe I should do that to myself. "Focus"
It has been a overwhelming week, I am glad that I am forced to rest in hopes that I will have a stronger week next week. Staying positive is what I need to do. I have put the hours in, the miles are there, the fitness is there...I just need my mental game. 52.4 miles is no easy task this I understand.
"FOCUS"
I can do This....
Some inspiration I found....
I understand that rest is good and should be taken! I am just a slow learner when it comes to that. I don't like idle time. But I am sure that this weeks unexpected rest is just what my body needs and most likely what I need mentally. 3 weeks can be a long time. I still have time to get the last long run, I have time to taper still as needed and I can do it.....I just need to stay get focused.
I Can Do It!!!!
FOCUS!!!!
"The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear. "
Brian Tracy
Rest you will. Run hard you will. Weak you are not. -Yoda
ReplyDeleteI know this "sickness" is because I left town and can't run with you on weekends . . . just a ploy. I can see right through you Pigeon. :-)
Glad to hear you rested as much as you possibly can. Must I remind you that you had these SAME doubts running through your mind before TRT50K? Yup, you did and you rock, controlled and ruled that course. Nuff said right?
I wish I could be out there with you on the trail humming in your ear that you are strong, you are smart and you are ready. Unfortunately I cannot but that doesn't mean I am not there in spirit. Every bird you see, every random act of porta potty-ness you will think of me! And you will hear me, shuffle, shuffle, run, run, eat, drink shuffle. I am there.
You're well prepared, rested, trained and ready to run a great race! Respect the distance, but don't fear it. You'll do great and i'll be right there to cheer ya a long.
ReplyDeleteKick-it!
kirk.